Only in New York
by trizliv2595
Summary: Alice would have never been in this position if she had left her friend's house earlier and she had a ride home. She would have never imagined in her life of finding four ninjas who lived in New York City sewers, but she was glad she was in that position and she wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Rated T for safety. TMNT 2014 movie version.
1. Never the Same

_My name is Alice Swanns and I am a college freshman. It's been a while since I last wrote a journal entry but a lot of things have happened that it's worth writing about. I started college a few weeks ago and so far I like it. Not only am I in college but I also work part-time at one of New York's precinct, which happens to be the one my dad works in. I currently live by myself in an apartment complex on the fourth floor. It's decent and I have an amazing view of the city at night. I, supposedly, have a good head on my shoulders and down to Earth, determined of what I want and strive for it. I am not a perfectionist and I am not afraid of making mistakes. But above all, I am not perfect and I'll never be. I am, however, the perfect example of an imperfect person and I am proud of it. It sort of sounds as if I have an easy life but in reality, it's not as easy as it seems and it will never be the same again. At least not after a cold, winter evening in January. And it only got less easy when April arrived._

* * *

><p>"You... you saved me, thank you..." she spoke to the shadows who had just kicked butt. The light rain had soaked her sweater and she could feel the weight increasing downward and the cold air pierced her skin, goose bumps forming in the aftermath of the wind. She tried to stand up, her black flats slipping from under her. She somehow managed to stand on her own two feet, her back leaned against the cold, wet, concrete wall.<p>

"Don't mention it", a deep voice replied. Her eyebrow cocked upwards as her balance faltered, using the wall as support. Her vision was off focus after she hit her head from the hard shove she had received prior to the fighting. She managed to make out the silhouettes of her heroes, all of them large and muscular. She wasn't sure about this bit of what she was seeing, but she could have sworn they had some circular, no- oval shaped objects on their backs. All four of them were of different heights and of different body compositions, the tallest was the one with the most muscles.

"Who...who are you?" she asked. The rain poured down slightly harder, not helping her with her vision.

"It's best if we don't tell you", a different voice answered.

"But...how am I supposed to thank you if I don't know your names?" She paused for a moment, a street light from behind them blinded her. "Can you please step closer? I can't see you either..."

"Come on Leo, let her know our names. Besides, she's pretty hot..." a younger voice commented.

"Don't say our names! It's safer for her to not know them", the same voice who refused to give her their names answered, and she assumed his name was Leo.

"I'm still standing right here", she let them know. A huge shiver ran through her body and a throbbing in her head increased. She gasped and kneel down, holding her head with her hands.

"Are you alright miss?" the last voice asked her. Her body couldn't stop shaking and her throbbing worsen.

"Mhh...No, my head is throbbing...really hard..." her voice shivering.

"Leo, we have to help her. On her own, she can't get help, at least not while she's injured..."

"Donnie, we can't let her see us."

"Leo, we have to help her!" the deepest voice of the four answered. She managed to distinguish each voice by the pitch of each one. The throbbing only worsen and let herself fall from her kneel. She expected to feel the wet pavement on her cheek and the impact of the floor but instead, a cold yet soft surface held her head. She couldn't keep her eyes open any longer but her ears were aware of everything, from the falling rain to the conversation of the four who saved her.

"Let's take her to _Sensei_, he might know what to do..." the one she thought was named Donnie answered.

"Be gentle with her, she's so beautiful..." the youngest voice commented. Then, the sound of flesh hitting flesh followed. "OW!"

"Shut up Mikey!" the deep, nameless voice snapped. Exhaustion and pain took over her mind and she drifted into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

><p>"It is a great risk to bring her here", an older voice, much older voice, was the first sound she heard when she regained consciousness. Her eyes were still closed but her sense of touch and hearing were still in full gear. She was over something soft and warm and a blanket of some sort was over her.<p>

"So, when she wakes up, what are we going to do when she sees us?" the voice she assumed as Mikey asked.

"We let her take it in slowly. Remember, don't hurt her if she freaks out and be gentle", Leo answered.

"Do you think she'll scream and faint?" the one she thinks belongs to Donnie asked.

"It's hard to tell, maybe she will or maybe she won't. But as Leonardo mentioned, we must be gentle and patient." The older man sounded closer than the other three. Her eyes then fluttered open but her sights were still out of focus. All she could see was really shapes and shadows but her vision still morphed things into a giant mass of blurriness.

"Where am I?" her voice broken and cracked.

"She's awake", Mikey answered.

"We can see that Mikey. Now, go get a glass of water", Leonardo instructed. She could hear heavy footsteps approaching her.

"Miss, how are you feeling?" Donnie asked her.

"My head is still throbbing and I can barely see..." She tried to sit up but her head began to spin.

"Woah, woah, woah, take it easy..." the nameless voice told her. "You need to take things slow. You're safe with us." A giant hand landed on her shoulder, nearly engulfing it whole, gently pushing her down back against whatever soft surface she was resting upon.

"Aww, Raph's got a soft spot for her!" Mikey answered. The sound of flesh smacking against flesh was then echoed again. "OW!"

"Here, drink this", Leonardo placed his hand behind her head, gently lifting it up a bit. He then placed the brim of the cup between her lips and tipped the cup slowly, allowing her to drink at her own pace. She slowly swallowed the clear, refreshing liquid and rested her head back onto his hand.

"Do you remember anything from last night?" Donnie asked.

"I was in the alley way with you four...it was raining lightly and you four saved me. I asked for your names but you refused. I don't remember much after that..."

"Not suffering from amnesia or concussion. Her throbbing is from the impact of last night and it should go down in a few hours with plenty of rest and water."

"What else do you remember?" Raph asked her.

"I couldn't see after I collapsed but I could hear everything." She placed her hand over her head where it throbbed the most. She felt a slight movement and felt a cool, wet rag over her forehead. She furrowed her eyebrows together in the middle and her lips etched a frown.

"So, you heard me when I called you beautiful?" Mikey asked.

"Now's not the time, Mikey!" Raph snapped at him. "What else do you know?"

"I know...part of your names...Leonardo, Raph, Donnie, and Mikey..."

"According to her symptoms, she is suffering from a cold, nothing to grave too worry about", Donnie answered. "She'll need to drink this every 4 hours and drink plenty of fluids. By the way, my name is Donatello." Donatello then gave her the medicine she was instructed to drink, cherry flavor syrup replaced the morning breath taste from her mouth.

"You already know my name as Leonardo, but you can call me Leo." Leo helped her drink more water, tipping the glass towards her lips.

"I'm Michelangelo but you can call me Mikey", Mikey answered, giving himself an unnecessary introduction. "And this here, is my mean, older...OUCH... violent older brother, Raphael."

"I apologize, young one. My sons don't know how to control themselves when meeting new people." The voice belonged to the older man and he seemed to silence the room.

"Who are you?"

"I am Splinter, master and father of the four who saved you." Slowly, her vision returned and she could see colors again. The figures then became clearer and more focused. Then, one of the four leaned his face closer to hers. That's when she realized who or what was staring at her. The one staring at her was of green complexion and wore an orange/yellow tattered mask over his face, two light blue eyes staring into her deep brown, red eyes.

"What...what are you?"

"We're ninjas", Leo answered.

"Mutants..." Raph continued.

"Technically, we are turtles", Donnie followed.

"Oh, and we're teenagers", Mikey finished.

"You're turtles? Mutant ninja teenage turtles?" Her heart beat accelerating in her chest.

"That's right", Splinter's answer silence the room again. She then saw an overgrown rat speaking.

"You're...you're a rat?" It was too much to process and she fainted.

"Uh, miss? Miss, can you hear us?" Leo's questions didn't nudge her. He didn't dare shake her and simply patted her forehead. Raph searched left and right, catching her chest rising and falling as she breathed in and out.

"And she fainted...typical for a woman..." Donnie gave his confirmation.

"No, she's not the typical woman...she's different..." If Raphael could have one wish, it would be for those words to have never left his mouth. But then again, he did want them to be heard, he wanted to defend her.

"How would you know? You've only known about her existence for a few minutes...well hours if you includes yesterday's encounter. You don't even know her name", Donnie replied. Raphael wedged his tongue between his teeth to avoid answering the question.

"Raphael, is there something you aren't telling us?" Master Splinter asked. Raphael's three finger hands held hers, feeling her weak pulse in his fingers. Or maybe it was his pulse. He wasn't sure.

"No", he snapped. His answer didn't please his father.

"Raphael..." The tone his _Sensei_/father used was one that made him break easily but he refused. "If that's how it's going to be, to the Ha'shi." Raphael glanced at the sleeping girl one last time and got up, not needing a guide to lead him to his punishment.

"What's eating him?" Leo asked his younger brothers.

"Beats me, but I could eat some pizza right now", Mikey answered. He stood up, took one more look at the girl, and headed to the kitchen for a slice of pizza.

"Let her sleep Leo. She'll come around", Donnie told his oldest brother. Stealing one last glace at her, he got to his feet and readjusted the blanket over her.

* * *

><p>"4 hours in the Ha'shi and still going." Leo was the only other person in Ha'shi, watching his rebellious younger brother. "Just give it up, man. You can tell me the truth."<p>

"So what? You can rat me out with Master Splinter?" Raphael twirled his toothpick with his tongue and tried to keep his balance on a tricycle on one foot and knitting an endless scarf, the needles clicking and echoing in the room.

"No, I just want to know the truth." Leo's voice stopped for a moment and turned soft, less authoritative-like. "We used to talk all the time when we were kids. What happened, Raph?"

"Master Splinter made you leader and I was left to follow you..." the tricycle wobbled forward and back, Raphael unable to get off.

"Is that what's been eating you? You are mad because you're not the leader?" Leo asked. "Come on Raph, we all know what would happen if you were the leader of the team."

"I don't want to the lead, I just don't want to follow."

"Enough. Leonardo, go see your brothers and the girl." Splinter joined the brothers, taking Leo's place as he left the room. Splinter's voice wasn't in a tone of anger, more concerned than anything else. He watched for a few minutes his second son fulfill his punishment, grumbling under his breath. The clicking of the needles and the squeaks from the tricycle from the pressure above it were the only sounds that muted the silence. "You are still not going to tell me what do you know about her and how?"

"No, _Sensei_."

"Very well." Splinter turned his back and made his way out of the Ha'shi. "Continue your training."

* * *

><p>"So your name is Alice and you're a college student?" Mikey asked the young girl. Alice woke up an hour ago, sneezing and coughing. Donnie and Leo prepared her some chicken noodle soup they had. She had started to warm up towards the turtles, all except Raphael. Leonardo handed her the bowl of soup and a spoon, sitting next to his brother.<p>

"Yes... well, I will be a college student in the fall", she answered, lifting the spoon to her mouth. The warm soup felt amazing as it slowly made its way down her throat, instantly warming her up nicely. "And you're names are Leonardo, Michelangelo, and Donatello..." she pointed to each turtle with their corresponding name. "Named after famous Italian renaissance artist."

"Wow... you're beautiful and smart..."

"Shut up, Mikey!" the other two snapped. She couldn't help but laugh and cough at the same time. Donnie handed her a tissue and she gladly took it, covering her nose with it.

"But, where's Raphael?" she asked. She just noticed he wasn't anywhere near his brothers.

"He's training", Splinter answered, appearing from behind the group, all four of their heads facing the father of her new found friends.

"So Alice, what are you planning on studying in college?" Leonardo asked.

"Criminal justice", she answered, another spoonful of soup entered her mouth.

"Ooh, beautiful girl is gonna be fighting crime with us!" Mikey's face was so bright, she wondered how he managed to be so happy when clearly he was the one who got pushed around by his brothers.

"Criminal justice doesn't mean she'll be fighting crime like we do. It includes policing, correction, and courts. She could probably be studying to be a lawyer, judge, or prosecutor..." Donnie explained.

"I'm actually planning on working as a police officer", she answered, her voice sounding sick.

"And is that what you wanted or what your parents wanted?" Leo asked.

"It's what I want. I'll be the first woman in my family who will be a cop."

"Well, congratulation", Leonardo smiled and she returned the gesture.

"Thank you." She took another spoonful of soup and set her bowl aside for a moment. Then, she sneeze, leaving her feeling weak and fragile.

"Bless you", all three said at the same time.

"Thank you... so, when do you think I can go home?"

"You can't leave..." Mikey told her. "You know about us, now you have to stay with us." She looked at the guys and tried to wrap her head around the situation.

"But...but I have to go back. I have school to go to and...My family as well..." she stuttered. Mikey then started to laugh.

"I was only kidding! You should have seen your face!" he laughed. She couldn't help but she also laughed.

"You can't leave just yet", Splinter added. "You must wait until its night so my sons can take you home safely."

"And until you're illness goes away as well", Donnie mentioned. She nodded and looked at the clock. It was barely 2 p.m., something told her it was going to be an interesting day.

* * *

><p>The sun was setting, giving the room an orange glow. Sweat rolled off his brow and onto the floor. He had lost track of time of how long he was in the Ha'shi but one thing was for certain; he wasn't going to break. He continued to knit the no longer endless scarf but instead made a blanket. The red yarn he used was not just one ball but many tied together and he continued to knit. He was sore from his legs, both the one that was balanced on the tricycle and the other for hanging a few feet from the air. His fingers were also tired from being arched from the position they had to be. But he refused to break. His rebellious spirit made him tougher, stronger, and meaner looking compared to his brothers. He was stronger because he pushed himself everything he worked out, whether he lifted weights that seemed impossible for someone so young of age to lift or pushed himself to do more push-ups from the last time he exercised. He was tougher for he knew what it was like to be an outcast and he had mentally prepared himself every day for things that might happen.<p>

But nothing, not his training, not his mental preparation, not his _Sensei_, not even his brothers, prepared him for the day she walked into his life. None of his brothers were prepared for that day.

"Hi." His head turned when he heard a soft, gentle voice instead of his brothers or his father. Her loose hair shined with the setting sun's light, relaxed and crowing her shoulders and framed her face. Her bangs roughly parted to her left side, one small strand over her eyebrow and merely touched her eyelid. Even though her hair was gleaming in the light, it was still a mess from last night's encounter and she didn't have a brush and hadn't had a chance to take a shower so it looked a bit greasy.

"Hi..." The words he wanted to say were trapped in his chest and mind. He was never good at talking to people, much less girls, especially someone who he thought was beautiful.

"Master Splinter and your brothers said I could find you here." Her hands were stuffed in her front pockets, her black low heel flats scraped the floor, sending tiny debris of rock and cement to scatter across from her. "I, uh, I never got to introduce myself to you. My name is Alice. I, uh, came to say goodbye..."

When the word escaped her lips, he nearly lost his balance and would have landed with a hard thump on the ground, probably causing severe damage to himself. But somehow, he caught his balance and continued to knit. "Goodbye?"

"I need to go home, Raphael." Hearing her say his name brought a new meaning to it. It sounded different when she spoke the name. "I can't stay here, even if I wanted to." The light behind him cast a silhouette; one so similar she had seen before. It was a memory buried deep in her mind and it unraveled itself to her attention. "This might sound crazy but, have we met before?"

"Yeah, we have." He couldn't believe she remember that night. It was a long time ago when they first encountered. His heart thumped loudly against his chest and he could feel it everywhere, from the tips of his toed bare feet to ends of his three fingered hands, still knitting the red yarn into place.

"Are you...have you already saved me before?" Heat rushed towards her cheeks and hands, her pulse in the joint of her palms and fingers. She could feel the ring on her left ring finger growing tighter, as her finger swelled from low circulation. Raphael didn't say anything but he nodded.

"It was you, wasn't it? You saved me from some robbers...back in January... I was walking from a friend's house. Some guys cornered me against the wall. Before they could hurt me, something stopped them. That was you, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, that was me", he couldn't stop himself from what he said next. "I know this will sound creepy but I made sure you got home safe."

"You've been watching over me?" Her hands came undone from being stuffed in her pockets and hanged by her sides.

"Just whenever you are out alone at night."

"As creepy as that sounds, I'm glad you did..." Her hands then crossed over her chest and she looked up at him. "I never got the chance to thank you for helping me in January, so thank you, Raphael."

"You're welcome..." He was starting to fall in love with the way she said his name. His heart was still racing in his chest and there was a red glow on his cheeks.

"So that's how you know about her", a different, familiar voice broke the comfortable silence that held the turtle and the young girl captive. She turned to find Leo and Master Splinter standing at the doorway.

"You were eavesdropping?"

"Don't worry Raph, she had no idea we were listening. In fact, we didn't know she was coming here until we heard the two of you talking", Leo answered.

"Raphael, you disobeyed a direct order again...will you ever learn?"

"Master, she was in trouble when I met her and I wasn't going to let her get hurt or worse. I had to do something." His teacher/father didn't say anything but simply stroked his mustache and beard.

"You should be punished longer for disobeying me but because you saved the life of this young girl, I will let you go", Master Splinter's verdict was music to his ears. At that moment, Raphael jumped off the tricycle and landed on the cold, hard ground. He towered over her, though she was 5'9", so she had to look up to see his face. "But, there is something I need for you, my son, to do for her. You must take Alice back home when it's dark with your brothers and make sure she gets home safe."

"I've done it before, I'll do it again", Raphael answered. Alice turned to face their _Sensei_ and she smiled.

"Thank you Splinter, for letting me stay here", Alice answered, smiling at the overgrown rat who helped her healed. He bowed at her and walked out of the room.

"So Alice, are you hungry? It's been a few hours since you ate something..." Leo offered.

"Um..."

"Who wants pizza?" Mikey's voice was heard from wherever he was in the lair.

"Shall we?" Leo offered a hand to her and she gladly took it. "Come on, Raph." Raph grumbled something in his throat and followed the duo.

* * *

><p>"So you guys were mutated 18 years ago?" she asked, setting her plate with a slice of pepperoni pizza on her lap.<p>

"Around that time. We were saved from the fire by a friend of ours who comes by every now and then to check on us. She's a really good friend", Leo explained. Alice sat on the couch made out of cardboard pizza boxes and was in between Leo and an empty spot. Mikey sat on the floor and Donnie sat beside him. Raphael, however, refused to sit down and remained standing.

"Interesting. I'm not one for science or math but that's really interesting", she answered. She took a bite from her pizza and smiled.

"Hey, who wants to play a game?" Mikey asked. "We still have some time before we take you home."

"What game?" Donnie asked.

"We should play spin the bottle", he answered. The other's groan but agreed silently. They all sat in a circle, Raph taking the empty spot next to Alice. Mikey brought for a bottle and sat between Raph and Donnie. "Alright, rules are, 1. Whoever spins the bottle tells the one who get pointed truth or dare. 2. The one who gets pointed has to do or say whatever the spinner told them to do. 3. You can't change to truth or dare. And 4. Have fun!" He then spun the bottle and it landed pointing to Donnie. An evil smirk formed on Mikey's lips.

"Truth or dare, bro?"

"Uh, truth...?"

"Okay, true or false... Mikey is the coolest, handsomest, smartest...OW! Again, with the violence Raph?" Mikey rubbed his new sore spot.

"You said have fun", Raphael answered, smiling. Alice couldn't help but to smile and giggle a little.

"Rule number 5. Have fun without hurting each other. Okay, Donnie, is it true that all you ever do is think about science and figuring things out?"

"That's the lamest question I've ever heard, Mikey", Leo commented.

"Ah, ah, ah, wait your turn, brother", Mikey answered in an ancient voice. "I'm kidding, is it true that you lick the icing off of the pop tarts every morning and put them back in the box?" Donnie's face turned red with embarrassment and he bit his lips.

"Yes, it's true!" Donnie answered. All three brothers started making disgusting noises and hacking coughs.

"That's gross Donnie!" Leo yelled. "Ugh!"

"Okay, Donnie's turn to spin." Donnie spun the bottle and pointed at Leo.

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare", Leo answered.

"I dare you to...oh I dare you to show off your most impressive ninja skills to Alice!" Donnie smiled. Leo got up, walked towards the empty space in front of the group and stretched himself to warm up. Once finished, he bowed and got in strike position. He jabbed, kicked, and stabbed the air with imaginary katanas. He twirled and sliced the invisible opponent on supposedly the back. Alice was impressed, much to Raphael's distaste. When finished, he bowed again and joined the group.

"That was impressive, Leo", Alice commented. There was a hint of red on his cheek as he sat down next to her. Leo then twirled the bottle and it landed pointing to Raphael. A devious smirk sketched Leo's face.

"Truth or dare, Raph?"

"Dare", Raphael answered, without missing a beat.

"I dare you to do a set of your average pushups..." Leo dared.

"That's not too hard..."

"But..." everyone looked at Leo and waited to hear what he would say. "Alice will have to balance on your back. And if she falls, you lose the game." Alice and Raph looked at each in confusion. Raphael stood up, not even saying a word and helped Alice stand. He got on his knees and hands and she climbed up.

"Okay, this isn't so bad..." she commented once she found a decently comfortable spot on his hard shell.

"No, you can't hold on to his shell..."

"You mean, I have to keep her on my back without her holding on for safe keeping?"

"Nope."

"Leo, that's not fair..."

"It's okay Raphael, I can do this." Her hand landed over his shoulder and made his heart leap to his throat. "You just do what you have to do and don't worry about me." He turned his head and looked at her smiling. Both nodded and he started his routine. "Woah..." For a second, he thought she was slipping off but she kept her balance by placing her hands by her side over his back and hold on as best as she could. When he finished his 45 set of push up, she slid off his back and combed her fingers through her hair, causing his heart to leap and kick start again.

"That wasn't too bad", she answered. Raphael's eyes soften when she smiled and looked into his eyes.

"Okay Raph, you're turn to spin", Leo answered. The bottle pointed at Mikey.

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Why are you such a pain in the ass?" Raphael asked. Alice looked at him with a not so smiling face.

"Because where would you guys be without me, bro?" he answered, opening his arms wide to emphasize his importance. Alice smiled and shook her head. Mikey spun the bottle on the floor and it landed facing Alice.

"Truth or dare, girl?"

"Um, dare." She wasn't afraid of a simple little dare and she just balanced herself over Raphael's back as he did pushups. What's the worst that could happen?

"I dare you to kiss the one ninja turtle who you think is the most handsome one." She had no way of knowing he would ask her for that but his brothers had a feeling he would.

"Oh no Mikey, that's not fair for her!" Leo interjected.

"Why? You're scared she's going to pick me?" Mikey asked.

"No, it's just not fair."

"I got a better idea..." Mikey interrupted the bickering.

* * *

><p>"You sure about this?" Leo asked.<p>

"Of course I'm sure", Mikey answered. In a hat, there were pieces of paper folded and on it were the color of the bandanna of each other the turtles. "Alice, pick one piece of paper and that lucky winner will have 7 minutes in heaven with you!"

"Mikey, this is stupid!" Raphael complained.

"You're scared she's not going to pick you?"

"I'm scared she'll pick you!" Alice placed her hand in the hat and shuffled the pieces of paper around. She then withdrew a piece and gently opened it. She stared at the name of the color for a moment then bit her lip.

"What color is it?" Mikey asked.

"It's a dark color..." That eliminated one bandanna. "It's a primary color..." Two left, one color. "It's associated with the color of..." They all waited for her to continue. "Love..."

* * *

><p>Raph's eyes grew huge. Alice's cheeks flushed his bandanna color and her lower lip was wedged between her upper and lower teeth. She looked down and grasped her hands together. Mikey then pushed her and gently nudged him to go into a closet. He closed the door and the only light in the room was from the crack under the door.<p>

"You both got 7 minutes!" he hollered through the door.

"We don't have to do anything if you don't want to. I'll pound Mikey afterwards for this."

"It's fine Raphael." God, the way she says his name sounds different... "My friends used to play this game whenever they had a party. I wasn't all for it the past few times..."

"How come?"

"I got paired up with some guys I wasn't really fond of..."

"Ex-boyfriends?"

"Where you also spying on me while I was at a party?"

"No...I mean, there's no way a pretty girl like you should be single for 18 years... but if that's the case...then it's fine...b-but I mean, wait, it's not that I think you are pretty because you're not...I mean..." He was a total mess of words and he was blushing hard, but she couldn't tell. Alice smiled and laughed.

"Where are you? It's pretty hard to see." She stretched out her hand and felt something muscular and scaly. "Is that your arm?"

"Yeah." She walked closer to him and placed her other hand over his shoulder.

"I get it Raphael, you're not the first person who says that. But yes, they were my ex-boyfriends. And thank you for the compliment..." Her lips landed on his cheek, she somehow found it in the dark. His hazel, golden green eyes widen and frantically tried to look for her smile. Then she realized what she did. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to kiss you...I mean, I did but I didn't know how you would react or if you wanted to..." Now it was her turn to be a jumble of words. Raph couldn't help but laugh and gently pecked her cheek, or tried. He ended up kissing her nose. She looked at him, or assumed she was, and her fingers touched the spot where he kissed her. She smiled and wished she could see his smile.

"Just a warning, I don't know how to kiss..." He blushed in embarrassment and looked away, but who could tell? It was dark. Alice simply shook her head and held his hands, gently tugging him to sit down with her.

"It's okay. I could show you if you want me to..."

"I just don't want it to be...awkward... you know?" She cupped his cheeks and imagined his eyes staring at her.

"What you do is that you look into her eyes, if you can see them, lean closer to her and gently hold her face", she used her hand to guide his to her cheek. "Like this and you can stroke her cheek with your thumb... ruffling her hair is also a good thing." Raph followed suit, even though he didn't look into her eyes. "Something else you can do is lean your forehead against hers and breathed softly and deeply..." She then softly dragged her hands down to his neck and could feel his heartbeat. "You can also place your hand over her waist...or her back...wherever she feels comfortable..." She then felt his hand hold her back, just below her shoulder blades.

"Alice, I just want to let you know something..." She waited for him to continue. "From that day we met..., the day I fought off those guys...there's something about you...that captivates me and... attracts me to you. Since that day..."

"One minute!" Mikey hollered. She closed her eyes and breathed out a sigh.

"Let's make it last..." he whispered. "What's next?"

"Then, you kiss her gently..." Her eyes then readjusted to the light from Mikey opening the door.

"I thought you said we had a minute..."

"I said half a minute", he answered crossing his arms.

"It is time..." Master Splinter mentioned. Raphael stood up and helped Alice stand, both walking out of the closet

* * *

><p>"Thank you for bring me home, guys", she answered after they had found her apartment. "I'd like to invite you in and stay for a while but I don't want to get you guys in trouble with Splinter." The moonlight cast shadows on the floor and walls of the window and the five figures that now occupied the apartment.<p>

"Maybe you can come and visit us sometime", Mikey suggested.

"We can always come here to check up on you", Leo answered.

"Both sound like good ideas, I like hanging out with you four..." she smiled.

"We better hustle before Master gets upset", Donnie answered.

"Goodbye Alice, see you soon", Leo told her. He bowed down to her and she bowed slightly back to him.

"Goodbye beautiful." Mikey gave an ultimate performance of his parting and Alice shook her head. Donnie and she exchanged a simple handshake and a smile. Last but not least was Raphael.

"Thanks for the lesson on kissing..." he stated.

"No problem, Raph...I mean, Raphael..."

"You can call me Raph. See you soon, Alice..." He was getting ready to leave when two arms slid across his left side.

"Thank you Raph, for saving my life..." She again pecked his cheek and blushed furiously.

"You're welcome, I take payments in cash or checks..." He then leaned in and did everything she had told him to do when kissing a girl. At last, he felt his lips match with hers. She felt butterflies in her stomach and her heart raced in her chest, feeling her arms unconsciously wrap themselves behind his head, feeling his thick, muscular neck and his beating heart against her wrist. When the kiss ended, both were breathless and content. "Or kisses..." She laughed and gently kissed his lips again.

"Ooh, Raphie's got a girlfriend!" a childish voice broke the silence. The two that were still in the apartment looked outside to see three other masked, ninja turtles staring at them.

"Yeah, that's right, I've got a girlfriend, so what?" Raph didn't miss a beat. He faced Alice again and kissed her once more. If it were any other boy, she would have felt used or a prize to be won. But there was something about him that made her feel different, made her feel less tough and brave and more...herself.

"So cute!" Mikey commented.

"We better go, Raph", Leo answered, a smile still plastered on his lips. All three jumped down from the balcony and Raph followed a few seconds later but not before bidding goodbyes to the young girl and stealing one last kiss on her cheek. She watched them from her balcony and followed them to the window which faced an alley way. That alley way had a manhole and the four disappeared into the darkness.

* * *

><p><em>My name is Alice Swanns, I am 18 years old and I am a college freshman. I was saved three times by four teenage mutant ninja turtles, all four named after Italian Renaissance artist. The first time was in January on my way home from friend's house. The second and third time were in April on the same day. It sounds crazy, I know, but it's the truth. People assume I have an easy life but in reality, it's not as easy as it seems and it will never be the same again. At least not after that cold, winter evening in January. And then it only got less easy in April on the rainy night. But, I wouldn't change it for the world.<em>


	2. Scrapes and Scars

_It's been a few weeks since I last saw them; my new friends. It's crazy how the world works but regardless, I miss them. I think maybe a little too much; I've become somewhat paranoid, I thought they would follow me. I still remember the kiss from Raphael and it sometimes makes me blush. I don't understand this; if any other cute guy…wait, did I just say cute? Well, if any other guy would have done that, I would have been furious and probably never want to see them again. But, for some reason, he was different. I actually liked it…I just hope I get to see them again soon…_

* * *

><p>The moon was almost halfway visible again, or maybe it was halfway invisible? She lost track of the moon's face. She was lounging in her couch, her black socks covered her feet, attempting to read a book she had to for her English class final. The theme was Gothic so she picked <em>Frankenstein. <em>She was into the whole monster, hybrid theme and coincidentally enough, her new friends she missed were hybrids of some sort. She had begun to read about Dr. Frankenstein creating the creature when she heard the tapping against the glass.

"_Is it them?"_ She quickly got up and headed to her balcony. She then found herself standing outside on the small balcony looking at a tall, dark stranger.

"Hey, babe." Her sights dropped and her lips formed a frown. Her arms crossed unconsciously over her front and she leaned on one leg.

"Don't call me babe, Jay. We broke up a year ago…" she answered, looking at him.

"Oh come on, babe…you know I still love you…" he took a step forward but she took a step back. "You're so cold. Why don't we go inside?"

"Sure, I go inside and you go home", she turned on her heels and began to enter her apartment when a strong hand held her wrist. "Jay, let me go."

"Oh, come on Lis, you used to like it when I held your hand. Remember when I used to do this as well?" He slowly leaned his lips towards her face and pushed him away.

"Ah, playing hard to get, are you?"

"Jay, just leave me alone!"

"No, Lis, you know deep down inside, you want me…"

"You're right, I do want you…" she answered. "I want you off of my balcony and out of my life!"

"Lizzy, Lizzy, Lizzy, will you ever understand that I can't leave you? Ow! How dare you slap?!" Her hand and his cheek were red and a pulse was felt but she didn't regret it. She entered her living room. "You're mine!" He tackled her down and pinned her to the ground.

"AH! Let me go!" He held her down by her wrist and began to kiss her violently on her cheek and neck. "Jay! Let me go!"

"Let her go!" a deep voice demanded. Suddenly, Jay was lifted from the girl and taken outside to the fire escape window. The savior then closed the window and drew the curtains in. Alice was up against the wall, covering herself with her arms. "Are you hurt?"

She couldn't speak but she shook her head. She somehow, managed to stand up and hug the person who saved her, still shaking from the incident.

"Alice, it's okay. The worst is over", Leo told her. Mikey and Donnie entered the apartment. Leo petted her head and held her close.

"She's just a bit shaken but she'll be okay", Donnie announced quietly.

"Who was that freak?" Mikey asked. Alice then composed herself and took a deep breathe.

"My ex-boyfriend…" she answered, looking down. She then was released from Leo embrace and brushed her hair away from her face. "We've been separated for a year now, we only lasted a few months. But every now and then, he would come back and claim that he wants me back. This is the first time he's done this action though." She paused for a moment, a thought, no- a wish, formed in her mind. "This is going to sound crazy but…"

"But what?" Mikey asked.

"Never mind…it's stupid…" she regret completely having said or even hoped for such a thing.

"It's okay, Alice. You can tell us anything. We're friends and we're here to look out for you", Leo reassured her.

"I was…hoping, you know… well wondering if I could hang out with you guys, for the night?" she finally managed to speak. None of the three vigilantes said a word and all looked at her. "I mean, I haven't heard from you in a while so…and I don't want to encounter Jay again…"

"Of course you can", Leo agreed. She felt her heart reach her ribcage with each pounding.

"No problem, girl." Mikey wrapped an arm around her shoulder and smiled. Then, it dawned on her.

"Wait a minute…what are you guys doing here in the first place?!" she asked, backing away. "I mean, what are you guys doing outside of the lair? Did anyone see you?"

"We were out patrolling and we just happened to be around the neighborhood when we heard you", Leo answered. "We decided to stick around to make sure you weren't in trouble and then we heard you call out to him to let you go."

"Well, I'm glad you guys were nearby. Jay has never done that before. He has pulled on my wrist and stuff, but he was harsher this time…" she frowned.

"As soon as you are ready, we can leave for the lair." She nodded at Leo and quickly put her shoes on. "You should pack clothes for the night." She nodded and stuffed some clothing and items for the night in her duffle bag.

"All set", she holds her duffle bag tight over her shoulder. She made sure her door and windows were locked and took her keys. "I'll meet you outside." They nodded and she waited for them to leave the window and finally locked it. She then exited her apartment, locked it and then took the stairs to the floor level. It was already dark outside and luckily, there were little to no people on the street. She turned the corner and there, three large figures waited for her. All four then climbed down the manhole and took her to the lair.

* * *

><p>"Master Splinter", Leo greeted his father. "We brought Alice down here for a good reason."<p>

"What is the reason?" the father of the reptilian brothers asked. Alice clutched her duffle bag strap tightly, not wanting to face her ex again.

"Her ex-boyfriend tried to hurt her. Please, let her stay down here until we are certain that he is gone." Leo stood next to her in defense and his brothers followed.

"Very well. She may stay down here until he is gone. In fact, she is welcomed down here anytime she wants." Splinter then left and allowed the brother and young girl to breathe.

"You can sleep in my bed, I'll sleep in the couch", Mikey offered. She smiled and released her grip from her bag shoulder strap, her fingers instantly relaxing.

"Thank you Mikey, but I think I better sleep in the couch…" she suggested.

"No, you're our guest so you get the best bed…" Leo commented.

"Which is…?" she asked, an eyebrow lifted.

"Mine…" a deep, familiar voice answered. Alice's cheeks flushed red and she looked down. "You can sleep in my bed, I never sleep on it anyway…" Without another word, Raphael left the room.

"He usually spends his time in the dojo or doing something else. Don't take it too hard…" Leo replied. She nodded and smiled.

"The bathroom is over here, you can change and brush your teeth there", Donnie demonstrated.

"Thank you, Donnie", she mentioned as she headed to the bathroom. She replaced her jeans and shirt for her 2 extra-large t-shirt and shorts. She also brought with her an oversized pair of boots. She brushed her teeth and then picked her hair up in a ponytail. She exited the bathroom and found the boys gathered around the TV, watching a movie.

"How'd you guys get a TV?" she asked, standing behind them.

"Donnie and Raph were out exploring the streets at night and they found this. Donnie fixed it and it worked", Leo answered. "Come and have a seat, there's room for one more…"

"Thanks but I think I'll go explore this place a bit more…" she answered. She waved goodbye and headed towards the sewers, ready to explore.

* * *

><p>She was getting very sleepy when she had walked around the pipes. She lost count of how many times she yawned but she knew she was yawning almost non-stop. She then found herself entering what she assumed was the dojo because there, standing in the middle of a platform was Raphael, practicing his combat skills using his Sais. She remained hidden behind the wall that separated the training room from the hallway and watched the action.<p>

Raphael held his weapons tightly in his hands, two of his three fingers between the largest of the blades, his thumb coil around the handle. He started slow but eventually, increased his speed of stabbing the imaginary enemy, grunting deeply. He moved so fast, she couldn't keep up with his movements. She was concerned he would stab or cut himself by moving his blades too fast but he seemed to not notice how close the sharp, giant needles were to his skin. When he finished stabbing, he placed his Sais in his belt and brought forth a dummy. He then practiced his punching, throwing the dummy around and around where it was hanged. Alice had never seen someone punch a dummy as fast or as powerful as he did and she wasn't sure how he managed to conquer it, she also wondered when the rope that lifted the dummy would give and eventually fall to the ground. She remained out of sight until she was mesmerized by him, her grip against the entrance of the door slipped and she landed with a hard thud on the floor. Raphael stopped his action and saw the young girl thrown on the floor and her look of fear emerged.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you…" she quickly stated. She tried to get up but Raphael lifted her up gently.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice was firm but also gentle. He placed her on her feet and she brushed the dust off her skin. She winced and looked at her knee. Sure enough, there was a small but not so deep cut, covered in blood and spilling down her leg. "Let me help you with that." He gently lifted her up and carried her bridal style. One of her hands rested over his shoulder and behind his neck while the other was over his plastron where she assumed his heart was. One of his hands lifted the joint of her knees while the other was over her left ribcage. She could feel the movement of the muscles and nerves from his arm on her back.

"Raphael, you don't have to carry me…I can walk on my own…"

"Not with that bleeding knee you're not…" he answered. He entered a different room she didn't see before and he set her down on a platform. Looking through the shelves, he retrieved a first aid kit.

"You know how to treat a cut?" she asked, surprised how a giant could be so gentle. He rubbed some alcohol with a cotton ball over her knee. She gasped and quickly placed her hand over his. He looked up and she quickly moved it away. "I'm sorry, I haven't felt that sting in a while. I should've been used to it by now…"

"You're an accident prone person?" he asked her as he continued to treat her knee.

"Accidents follow me everywhere I go", she replied, half of her lips forming upward. Even with giant fingers, he managed to place a bandage over her knee.

"You should stay off your knee for a while, less than a day. That was a nasty fall", he instructed.

"From about two feet…that's not a nasty fall. I'll need to go to the room, however", she answered, looking at him.

"Don't worry, I got this", he told her, once again lifting her up.

"Raphael, I don't really like being carried…" he still held her in his arms.

"I don't want you to get hurt again. Just…just let me do this right…" It was a long walk back to the living room from the needle room. There was a long moment of silence before one of them spoke.

"Hey, listen…" she looked up at him and waited for him to continue. "I'm sorry about the kissing and saying you were my girlfriend to my brothers…"

"It's okay, Raphael… I understand. I have friends who act almost like your brothers when I'm hanging out with a new guy. Though we don't kiss, I do say he is my boyfriend but I never see him again or if I do, he usually just becomes my friend. And the kissing? Don't worry about it, I actually liked it."

"Alice…" those big brown/red eyes of hers melted his hard, tough guy attitude and he was falling hard like a fool. "You…I'm sorry I was so cold to you earlier today and I didn't help you tonight."

"What are you talking about? You're helping me right now, however, I can walk by myself. I don't always need saving, Raph", she answered. "I can take care of myself. I'm working to be cop, I have to have some scrapes and scars."

"I know you can and I know you will but I would like to help someone beside myself."

"Well, it looks like you are doing a good job at it", Leo answered. "Alice, what happened to your knee?"

"I slipped and cut my knee. I should be alright", she yawned and Raphael carried her to his room. "Night guys."

"Night Alice", the others responded.

"I'll take the floor." Raphael answered as he made his bed as comfortable as he could for her. "Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm fine, thanks." She said her prayers and curled up in a ball and wrapped herself up in the blankets Raphael had provided for her. He wouldn't admit that he found it cute how she curled herself up. Raphael used spare blankets and pillows to create a make shift bed. He then landed face down on the bed. "Raph…"

"Yes Alice?"

"Why are you tough on your brothers?" He remembered what happened to them when they faced the Shredder. He had poured his heart out when all of them thought they wouldn't make it trying to save the city.

"I push them because I believe in them; in their intelligence, their spirit, and their potential."

"Interesting", she answered. "And, why are you so hard on yourself?"

"I don't think I'm good enough…" He then felt the covers shift and saw her sitting next to him. He sat up and saw her face to face. It wasn't until then he noticed how perfect she was. Her dark arched eyebrows over her large, dark brown eyes were beautifully set. Her nose was medium size and soft, sprinkled with freckles of different shapes and sizes and color, flowering across her cheeks. Her lips seemed and were so soft and warm when he kissed her. He was so tempted to kiss them again but he didn't want to cross boundaries with her. He saw her beautiful cheekbone were defined but were also delicate. Her lips formed a smile that sent him into a haze of confusion and peace. She placed a firm, caressing gentle hand over his scaly shoulder and arm, her thumb running back and forth.

"I think you are good enough… because I see no one better for your brothers than you", she whispered. Her eyes then were fixed on his face. His golden, hazel eyes made her blush when he smiled, forming a light shining to her. She noticed the scars over his lips and remembered when he kissed her; how the deep longer one scraped over her lips and she liked it. Her hands were wishing and yearning to hold his cheeks and feel how muscular they were. She could feel her heart rate increase when he looked at her and smiled. She saw many things in his face and one of them was the wishing to be happy with himself. The way his eyes looked at the world told her he wanted to be happy, not having to be angry or upset. The way his mouth was now tattooed downward. Her eyes also saw how hurt he was, both outside and inside, and the scars on his face and arms were enough proof for her. He wore more bandages compared to his brothers and he had a branding tattoo over his right shoulder. "What does your tattoo mean?"

"Anger…" he answered. Cautiously, she traced the branding with her left index finger, her fingertip feeling every line and curve of both the tattoo and the skin. A giant hand placed itself over her wrist gently, her hand over the tattoo, heat radiating from their touch. Her free hand unconsciously molded itself to cover his cheek while his gently carved her shoulder blade. Without fair warning, their lips matched against one another and their eyelids glued themselves shut, the scar over his lips once again scraped her skin, a smile formed on her lips. His breathing fanned over her face and hers barely made a hair move, if he had any. His hand released her left hand which was over his shoulder and melted on her back. Her hands slid to the back of his head and pulled on the knot of his bandanna. She felt a grumble against her wrist and forearms. They pulled their hungry lips apart and rested their forehead against one another.

"I've been waiting to kiss you since the last time…" he sighed loudly.

"How'd you like it?" she gasped in between breaths.

"…Worth the wait…" he huffed with a smile. She joined his smile and breathed in deep, her nostrils opening wide and taking as much cool air as possible.

"You're not that bad of a kisser…"

"I learned from the best…" a laugh escaped her mouth.

"To be honest…" she started. "I've never kissed anyone the way I kissed you."

"Honestly, I loved it…" then it dawned on him what happened and he pulled away.

She then realized what just occurred and she didn't regret it. Raphael stood up and walked out without much of a goodbye. Alice sat on his bed/floor for a while but then retired to her temporary bed, curled herself once more and settled in for some sleep.

* * *

><p>The pounding sound of fist against plastic echoed through the pipes. Sweat rolled down his head and neck. The blows seemed to be numbed to him by the hammering of his heart. He could feel the pulse everywhere; in his knuckles, his knees, in between his ears, and more importantly in his head.<p>

"My son." Raphael cease to continue his workout and faced his father.

"_Sensei_", he huffed, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath.

"Something is troubling you." Splinter made his way to the where he looked at his rebellious son closely.

"Nothing is troubling me."

"Then why are you still awake?"

"I should be asking you the same thing."

"How could I sleep knowing that you are up? Plus, your punches are echoed through these old pipes." Splinter chuckled a bit and sat down nearby. Raphael then sat down and looked at his father.

"Master, it's about Alice…" Splinter made no comment and simply waited for him to continue. "When she's with me, everything about me changes. I'm not my usual self, I can't concentrate when I fight if I think about her. She makes me feel different…and it feels good at the same time. I feel a pulsing in my head and my knees. I see her and she makes me smile. She changes me." Master Splinter took a breath in sharply then sighed.

"Raphael, I feared this day would come for either you or your brothers but I'm afraid I can't stop it."

'What is it?"

"Raphael, you are in love with Alice." Raphael was foreign to this type of love he felt. He loved his brothers and his father but he never knew the kind of love he would give to the opposite gender. He didn't even know if he was capable of giving and feeling the sort of affection towards anyone.

"But that's impossible…"

"It's not, I'm afraid…"

"I can't be in love with her! She's a girl and I'm a freak!" Raphael was trying so hard to get that idea out of his head but his heart was the one in control. He felt good that he had that connection to someone as special as her but he wasn't too pleased about their situation.

"You can be in love but I'm afraid it will do you no good to feel that way for her. Like you said, she's a human and you are a mutant. And even though you two are the same age, it doesn't change the fact of who you two are."

"What do I do?" he was afraid of what his master would say.

"For now, you must spend less time with her and avoid her at all cause." His nightmare became true.

"Master Splinter, what if I don't want to?" Raphael was playing with fire and he knew he was going to get burn but he would take the risk.

"You're playing a dangerous game with your heart. The heart isn't the toughest part of you", master Splinter answered. "But do as you wish, you are your own free person and deserve to be happy. But she might not reciprocate these feelings for you."

* * *

><p><em>Alice's eyes were closed but they were blinded by the sun as it filtered through the leaves and branches of the tree she was resting upon. The warmth of the giant star lightly toasted the bare skin of her arms and legs and her neck. Her arms were over her stomach but she felt them heavy when she tried lifting them up. Slowly peeking at her arms, her sights caught two large arms covering her own. She then looked at them and traced her sights to see a familiar, scarred face. Behind and holding her close to him was Raphael, his red mask still on his face and his eyes closed. There was a smile etched on his lips and he seemed peacefully happy. She leaned close to him and kissed his jaw. She leaned her head against his chest and closed her eyes again, breathing in deeply once.<em>

Her dream was then broken. _What was I thinking?! Me? And Raphael? No, no, no; we can't! One too many scrapes and scars on my part, I won't go through that again…_

She wasn't fooling anyone. She was falling in love with Raphael, a 6ft something, talking, teenage mutant ninja turtle with an anger to match his size. She flopped once back in his bed and looked up at the ceiling. She curled up again in a ball and tried to go back to sleep.

"You're awake?" he asked when he entered the room. A few minutes have passed and she almost drifted into the dream world when she heard his heavy, bare feet enter the room and his door opened. He softly closed the door and looked at the girl curled up in a blanket.

"I woke up a while ago…I was going back to sleep", she answered sitting up. A moment of silence passed and they looked away.

"Listen…about what happened earlier…" he started.

"Just forget about it, it was on impulse…" she finished. Her words broke his and her heart. They knew it was impossible for them to be together and they weren't just sure about it; they knew it.

_Then why does it hurt so much?_ They thought to themselves this question in their mind. The answer was one reason, they were in love with each other. But she knew better than to fall again at first sight. And he knew better than to get his hopes up.

"Did you really enjoy the kiss?" he asked. She was a bit shocked to hear this from him but she responded.

"I actually did…how about you?" she looked at him and waited.

"I did..." he smiled. They smiled but then looked away, or at least she did, biting her lip. They were playing a dangerous game and they were gambling their hearts. Or maybe, they weren't. Maybe they knew the consequences and knew what they were dealing with and decided to give it a shot.

"You know we're playing a dangerous game right?" he asked her.

"What if it isn't a game?" she asked, her deep brown/red eyes captivating him more and more into her. "What if we know what we're dealing with?"

"And what? We're just going to go along with it?"

"I guess it's worth the shot…" she answered. _What am I saying? I can't let this happen to me. _Though her mind told her this, her heart had other plans.

"Maybe you're right. But you don't have to be part of it, if you don't want to."

"I don't know…" she wasn't going to let her guard down again but there was a part of her that wanted her to. And it was strong part that wanted to be, in words, weak and fragile. "Do you?"

His golden hazel eyes looked deeply into hers and felt his shattered-self come together in them.

"Only if you're in this…" she was afraid that response. She didn't want to hurt herself or him. But she wanted to be in this with him and only them. She knew love was a battle field and something that wasn't meant to be easy. She took a deep breath and looked at the young ninja.

"It's too dangerous to be in something as big and powerful as this…but…" she stopped to think her answer and looked down. Did she really want to? Was she willing to set her heart on the line again? Something about all of this and about him felt different compare to her last relationships. It felt…real, so sure. She sighed and looked at him again. "But, it's worth it, I guess."

Her answer was enough to bring him to reach the clouds. He could feel his pulse everywhere and he was glad he was alive.

"Do you think we are moving too fast?" she asked. He sat down next to her and took her hands.

"We're going at the pace we want to…"

"I like that… but, maybe we should take time to get to know each other, just enough to decide if we should."

"Okay", he answered.

"Good night Raphael", she whispered and kissed his cheek one last time before settling in his bed.

"Night, Alice", he whispered back, tucking her in and turning off the light. He rested on the floor and watched her sleep, curled up and under a thick blanket.

_Maybe, just maybe…this could work._

* * *

><p><em>Life has a funny way making you think back on certain things you've said in the past. I used to believe the walls the surrounded me were unbreakable and no one was going to get to me deeper than the skin. I tried to make myself this way so I wouldn't get hurt. But, there was something...different, strange, and strong but also familiar about him. He made me feel safe, feel as if he can't hurt me. As if I didn't need to keep building my walls up to keep him out. He somehow in someway was already inside and he was going to stay there. Not because he didn't have a choice but because we gave each other that choice and we took it. For better or for worse, we would stick to this, scrapes and scars included.<em>


	3. Unlocked and Defenseless

_It's been a complicated end to my high school life but I can't really say it wasn't interesting. First, I met 4 teenage mutant ninja turtles living the sewers of New York City with their mutated rat for a father. Second, I discovered who saved me from an incident in January earlier this year. And third, I was falling in love with one of the brothers. As of today, however, in a few hours I will walk the stage, get my diploma from high school and spend the summer between my apartment and the sewers where my friends live and my workplace. This is definitely going to be a summer to remember._

* * *

><p>She tapped the toe of her foot quickly against the floor, sitting "patiently" on a stadium chair. She had been at the giant theater for about an hour and her stomach has been doing flips and flops for days now. She was a nervous wreck, but who could blame her? Her family from both sides were in New York and they will either be proud of their Alice to walk the stage or embarrassed and ashamed to be related to the one girl who would trip on stage, so yeah, she was extremely nervous.<p>

"So Alice, what are you doing this summer?" her friend, Maggie asked. She was sitting next to her and another group of friends, all or most with their significant others. Alice wasn't all about having a relationship and showing it 24/7. She liked her independence. And she set her sights on a certain hot-headed turtle.

"Mostly likely packing and moving into my new apartment and catching up in my work at the office", she answered. Part of it was true. She wasn't going anywhere so she decided to stay in town, enjoy the company of her friends.

"Well, I'll be hosting some parties at the estate if you are interested", Maggie answered.

"Or we could have a day out to get out nails done, buy some clothing, all that jazz…" her other friend, Sasha replied. Alice simply smiled and looked away. Her phone vibrated in her pocket and her fingers frantically digging for it. There was a text from her friend, Jack, asking to come to the floor.

"Why do you even hang out with them? You've said so yourself, you don't feel comfortable hanging out with them, especially Natalie. She ditches you every time for her boyfriend", Omar asked as he welcomed her into their circle. She felt more comfortable being around guys more than girls because she felt she didn't need to downgrade or upgrade her standards when hanging out with her so called, "bros". The guys thought she was cool enough just being herself and accept her as she is, even calling her one of the guys. They all, however, treated her like a little sister and protected her when others would bother her, whether they were one of her ex's or just people who were pestering her. They did so without her asking for them to do so.

"I don't know…I just don't feel like talking right now…" she answered, crossing her arms over her chest, a sign of fear and protection she gave herself when she needed it. She looked around and viewed her graduating class, her lips sketched in a frown and she bit her lips from the inside.

"Hey, there's nothing to worry about. You'll be fine…" Omar commented. She smiled and looked down.

"You'll look beautiful if that's what you're worrying about", Tony, another friend of hers added.

"I'll look average", she corrected, cocking her eyebrows upward. She never saw herself as others told her she was.

"Whatever sis," Jack answered. He was the one who constantly called her sis or sister. They were friends for years and he would do anything to keep her safe but he was human so he had his limits. But even though he trusted her and she trusted him, she couldn't reveal her friends' identity. "It's a shame you didn't go to prom with me."

"So I could be the third wheel?" she answered laughing.

"Absolutely…not!" he answered sarcastically.

"Okay class of 2014, time to get this show on the road!" the sponsor for the class spoke, getting everyone's attention. She bit her lip and took a deep breathe. Jack nudged her shoulder lightly, trying to cheer her up.

* * *

><p>"Oh, you are going to look great tonight!" her aunt accidently yanked on a tangle.<p>

"OW!" Alice exclaimed. "If I even leave this house with my head on…"

"You whiny baby", her cousin snorted. Alice looked at her cousin through the mirror and gave her a face of unpleasant response. Alice was older than most of her cousin and Veronica wasn't any different, except she made herself feel older. Luckily, neither of them lived near one another so they didn't see each other every day.

"Veronica, be nice to Alice, it's her special day", her mother replied.

"Aunt Cassie…" Alice started.

"Shh! Hold still, I'm starting your make up!" her other cousin, Judy, kneeled facing her and started applying foundation. It seemed as if everyone in the house was busy doing something to or for her to keep themselves entertained and be around the graduating senior. Alice's mom and some of her sisters, both her own and in-laws, were in the kitchen preparing items for the party after her graduation.

"So, where's the dress?" Aunt Cassie asked her.

"Upstairs but it's not really a dress…"

"Either way, you'll look beautiful!" her aunt Matilda commented.

"Thank you", Alice answered. Her eyes darted to the clock and she watched the seconds tick by.

"Oh, look down", Judy requested and Alice did so. Though Alice's body was in the room, her mind had travelled down the streets of New York to a certain manhole and through the sewers to a specific entranced where 5 special friends lived.

It's been a few weeks since her last encounter with the boys and she missed them. Leo had begun to teach her how to meditate and she picked it up quick. Mikey had introduced to her the art of video gaming and she loved _Halo _and _Call of Duty. _Donnie helped her greatly on her final reviews, especially math and science and she passed her class. Raph, however, was giving her fighting lessons and a more personal approach towards him. Both began to "date" and get to know each other. They never left the lair but on occasion, he would visit her at her apartment and helped her pack. She was a believer that in some occasion, opposites attract but they basically walked on common ground.

She was a lover for music and movies, action and sci-fi and some comedy. Rock music from the 80s and 90s and early 2000's were the top ones on her list along with some indie rock. He was a fan for most of the bands she loved but was more interested in music created to work-out since most of the time, when she wasn't there, he would spends hours on end at the gym. His top list for movies were action and some horror and only watched horror so Alice would hide her face against his chest when a scary scene appeared, his arms automatically engulfed her and he gently soothed her, reminding her it's only a movie. She was a reader and an artist while he was a work-out junkie, craving and enjoying the burning sensation of lactic acid of his muscles when he pushed himself just enough to get stronger. She missed them all so much, even Master Splinter. He also was teaching her how to fight and be a warrior, even calling her daughter or child in some occasions.

"Okay, you're ready", Judy gave her verdict. Alice stood up and made her way to the room that use to belong to her. Slipping off the black tank top and shorts, she replaced them with her olive green, V-neck sleeveless top with a darker green undershirt, covering the cleavage where the V connected on the top layer and a pine green colored skirt. She, however, kept her new black, low heel flats. She then clasped a black beaded necklace, a green gemstone hanging from the center.

"You look beautiful", her cousin Lilly whispered from the door way.

"But, why wear so much green? Using it to camouflage how sick you feel to the world?" Veronica answered.

"It's my favorite color…" Alice responded. That was partly true. The real reason was a secret.

* * *

><p>"When's your graduation?" Mikey asked her one afternoon. It was a week or so before her final exams and she asked Donnie to help her on her math and science review. He agreed and was a better tutor than most of her teachers. Both, Donnie and her, looked up from her textbook and review packets to lock their sights on the young ninja with the orange tattered mask and icy blue eyes.<p>

"On June 12th, why do you ask?" her face change from calm to puzzled.

"We want to know so we, you know, be able to sneak in and see you…" Alice smiled with half a smile and shook her head.

"I appreciate the affection but I don't think you guys can see me, even if you sneak in…"

"And why not? We're ninjas, we know how to sneak in", Leo answered as he entered the room.

"For one, Master Splinter won't let you guys leave the lair…"

"For once, I will allow them to go above ground to see you", the teacher of the ninjas answered, also entering the room. Everyone's eyes in the room were wide and a few mouths dropped.

"Well…that was unexpected…" she continued. "I guess the only real answer is even if you do manage to sneak in, there'll be police everywhere and the second they see something suspicious, nothing can really stop them from figuring it out. And that includes 4 heavily dressed giant, mutant turtles, regardless if said turtles saved the city from being killed and their families…"

"But, we want to see you walk the stage…." Mikey pouted. Alice felt a twinge of sadness, knowing how heartbroken they were to not see her graduate.

"Wait, there is another way, the internet!" She exclaimed after a moment of silence passed. "They're going to broadcast it online and live on that date and hour."

"Great!" Mikey ran up to her and hugged her. "We get to see our little sister walk the stage!"

"She might be your little sister but she's my future girlfriend", Raph entered the living room. Mikey released Alice from his hold and allowed for his older brother to bring Alice to sit on his lap and hold her close against his chest. His hand rested over her stomach and the other was up against the arm rest.

"You two are still not together?" Mikey asked, cocking an eyebrow upward.

"We're still thinking about it", she replied.

"Well, she's still thinking about it. I've asked her already and she's still not ready", Raphael answered. Alice's fingertips gently caressed his fingers and wrist, sending shivers across both their bodies and their hearts kick starting. Using his free hand, he tilted her head to face him and kissed her nose and cheek gently. Her cheeks bunched up together under eyes as her lips gave way to reveal a smile. "How about now?"

"Nice try but no…" she answered and kissed the area under his nostrils and above his lips, teasing him and he loved it.

"Do you know what you are going to wear?" Mikey, the modern of the 4, asked. Raph and Alice turned, his face of not much pleasure for him to interrupt their moment together. Lately, Alice had been too busy studying and working, plus she had family over so she hadn't come to visit them, but more importantly him.

"I'm still looking for the right outfit. The other day, I found something that caught my attention at the mall. It's a sleeveless olive green shirt with a V-neck. It has a pine green undershirt under the V-neck. My mom stumbled across a pine green skirt as well. I thought it was nice but my mom insists on me wearing a dress…"

"You should wear the green shirt and skirt, just for Raphie here." Mikey flinched when he saw Raph's arm twitch to smack him.

"I think I should wear it for all of you", she smiled, still caressing his hand, which still over her stomach, with her fingertips and leaned her head against the crook of his neck and his shoulder. "In honor of you guys saving this city multiple times…"

"And you…" Raph interrupted her.

"And me…I will wear it just for you 4." She smiled and kissed Raph's cheek.

* * *

><p>"Are you ready, Alice?" she heard her mother call out from downstairs. Alice broke from her daydreaming and looked at the mirror.<p>

"Be out in a minute…"" Alice readjusted her shirt and took a deep breath. She decided to place over her hair a black hairband with a dark pink/red flower on the end, right over her ear. Smiling once more before going downstairs, she noticed how the added blush on her nose and cheeks pronounced her freckles even more. Her hair, now almost veiling her back fully, cascaded in soft, medium waves. The light olive skin tone resonated her dark eyes and brighten them. Her naturally arched eyebrows were even and dark as usual, just a clean-up was done earlier that week. Her lips were a medium shade of dark pink, almost red. She viewed her back and content with her image, made her way downstairs.

The moment her foot was placed on the second step, she was immediately surrounded by people with cameras.

"Oh, you look beautiful", someone exclaimed.

"She looks fantastic!" someone else commented. Every person had some compliment to give her. Her eyes squinted as she tried to shield the flashes of the cameras and phones. She could barely see where she stepped and was afraid to stumble. Her heel scraped the edge of the step and landed on the ground but she kept her balance.

"Okay everyone, let her put on her cap and gown", her mother instructed. She miraculously managed to make everyone cease the flashing but her eyes were still out of focus. Her mom brought forth an oversized gown and cap, fit to use once, both were a shade of ocean blue. When the gown slid over her shoulders and her cap was adjusted over her head, she was again blinded by the flashes and began to see dots.

"Okay, we better go!" her mom spoke again. Everyone then piled into their car and waited for her to join them outside. More photos were taken as she made her way to her mom's car. _So this is what it's like to be a celebrity…_

Much to her content, her mother let the music drown the silence and didn't say anything. They finally reached the stadium and she stepped out of the car. More pictures were snapped of her.

"Alice", her mother started. She turned and faced her mother. "I am so proud of you, my baby."

"Thank you, Mom", Alice hugged her mother and stayed in the embraced for a moment. She then saw Jack and his football friends heading over to her. Her mom separated and let her join her friends. Her family continued to take pictures of her and the boys.

"We better get going", Jack mentioned. Her family departed to the entranced while her friends and she made their way to the back entranced.

"Thanks for the saving…" she said once they were away from her family to hear them.

"Paparazzi?" Jack asked. She nodded and sighed.

"As if I needed any more pressure than what I have to deal with already", she added.

"The worst will be over soon. You'll see", Tony reassured her. She smiled and looked at the line forming of student in the same shade of blue caps and gowns.

"By the way, you look beautiful", Jack commented.

"Thank you. My aunt did my hair and my cousin my make-up."

"Either way, you look great", Tony answered. They reached the end of the line and more student filed in behind them. Most were nervous and everyone was eager to get this over with and go to the after graduation party given from the school. Of course, Alice wasn't going. Her family had come from other cities to be with her. But what she really wanted was to spend the night in the lair.

* * *

><p>They were then separated by last name and then filed in alphabetic order. She was stuck at the end of the line, seeing all the heads of her fellow classmates. The girl in front of her was short, however, and she turned to smile at her, Alice returned the gesture. They were then guided to the tunnel where they would enter the seating area.<p>

"Alice…" she heard someone whisper. She turned to the left and saw her ex-boyfriend, Clark. He was the only one who didn't bother her when they broke up. He would smile when they passed and didn't bring old feelings to the table when they were supposed to work together on projects. "Congrats on graduating."

"Thank you. Same for you", she answered, smiling and taking a deep breath.

"You'll be fine", he reassured them. "You look beautiful by the way."

"Thank you…" She sometimes wondered why they broke up in the first place but she remembers how free spirited she was and how tied down he was to certain things. She didn't plan things and was spontaneous but he was all for planning and having a schedule. She would cancel dates because of getting called into work or having a project to do. He said it was okay but at the end of their relationship, he threw everything she did wrong to her face. But, they left in good terms so things weren't awkward. Their relationship was the longest she had and it seemed the truest, and it was recent as well.

The sponsors then guided the students out of the tunnel and into their seats. _Here we go…_

* * *

><p>"Alice Angel Rose Swanns", the announcer presented her by her full name. Her eyes for the first time took notice of how many people were in the stands. She remembered to smile and then turned to get her diploma from one of the chairmen of the board and shake his hand. Once that was over, she didn't remember what happened. She forgot the feeling deep in her chest and stomach but it still did flip-flops. Her hands shook as she made her way down the ramp and into another stand behind the curtain. There, she had another picture taken with her diploma. Her old teachers gave her their congratulations and gave her directions on where to go afterwards.<p>

"Graduated class of 2014, please stand as we do the transiting of the tassel, symbolizing your moving to bigger things." Immediately and simultaneously, everyone was on their feet. Her left hand crossed over her face and moved her tassel along with her class to the left side from the right. "Congratulations!" A giant wave of caps flew to the air but hers stayed on her head. They composed themselves and returned to exit through the tunnel.

"We made it!" Jack hollered as she made her way towards him. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and brought her in for a hug. The rest of the team swarmed them and formed the biggest hug in the world. Alice was the only girl in the group who belong there, not because she was a girlfriend but because she was a friend who is a girl, one of the guys, one with the group.

"We did it!" she exclaimed, not feeling the urge to cry. Her friends gathered around and took more photos with her. She looked at her watch and decided to head to her family who was waiting.

* * *

><p>"As we all know, our beautiful Alice Angel Rose, graduated from high school and we are all so proud of her", her mother stated once back at the house. "But no one is more surprised than her father and I." Alice, cap and gown removed after almost an hour of taking pictures by her family, sat on the sofa and saw her mother and father, separated for almost 19 years and they were finally together in the same room.<p>

"We, um, decided to give Alice something special", her father stated. She smiled at the attempt her father was giving to make a speech. Her mother then handed her a rather large box. Everyone waited for her to open the present and she took her time but also rushed the process.

"Mom, Dad, you shouldn't have..." They really shouldn't. In the box was a new laptop and camera, along with a card. She opened the card and inside was the first 3 months paid for her new place, rent, electricity, water, etc. She stood up and her parents, both of them embracing her. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome sweetheart", her mom told her, kissing her forehead. "Let's get this party started, shall we?" Her mother released her and gave her one last kiss before making her way to her friends she invited.

"Thank you for coming, Dad", she hugged him again.

"All for my baby girl", he answered. "I'm so proud of you." He kissed the top of her head and hugged her tight. "But something tells me you're not comfortable here, are you?" She looked at him and shook her head.

"You know me…" she answered. "You're not so cozy yourself."

"Nope, but I'm leaving soon. I got a long day at the office tomorrow."

"I wish I could leave that easy…this looks more like a party for Mom than for me…"

"Keep your chin up and when you feel as if you can't go on, you can leave. But now, I have a date with a slice of cake…" She laughed and watched her dad head to the kitchen and take a slice of cake her mom bought.

* * *

><p>"Mom, I think I want to go back to my apartment", she told her. Her dad had left about an hour ago and she opened her presents from her family members. Alice socialized with her cousins and some of her relatives but she had run out of things to talk about.<p>

"Okay, but are you sure sweetie? You can take your room back", her mom offered.

"Don't worry, Mom. I know how to get there." She waved goodbye and good night to her family while her mom and her packed her gifts in the back of her car and drove her to her apartment.

When she reached her place, her mother and her took her items upstairs and placed them in the living room.

"Goodnight Alice. I love you so much", her mother told her as she hugged her. Alice hugged her back and felt safe.

"G'night Mom, I love you too", she replied, closing her eyes and taking in her sweet perfume. She walked her mother to her car and waited for her to drive away before heading to the manhole next to her apartment.

* * *

><p>"Congratulations Alice!" the brothers exclaimed. She was caught totally off guard and jumped against the wall, the back of her head connecting to the concrete.<p>

"Ow!" she rubbed the new sore spot and the brothers looked at her in concern.

"Sorry Alice", Mikey told her.

"It's okay…but you guys are really good at stealth", she smiled and huffed a laugh through her nose.

"We are so proud of you", Leo announced, giving her a side hug.

"Thank you." She finally felt at home and she was glad she was away from the people who would never understand her. Donnie gave her an awkward hug but she accepted it no doubt. Mikey hugged her as well and gave her a kiss on her cheek.

"Hey, keep your lips away from her", a gruff voice threaten in a playful manner. She blushed furiously and Mikey let her go, handing her to his older brother. "Congrats, Alice." He leaned his forehead against hers and pressed a kiss over her nose.

"Thank you", she answered looking into his deep, golden hazel eyes.

"Let's party!" Mikey suggested. He started the music and took Alice out to the dance floor. Leo joined them and then Donnie followed.

Raph just stood there mesmerized to see her moves. He saw how her soft wavy hair twirled when she spun and chunks of it landed on her shoulder. He was under a spell that her smile and eyes cast over him. He couldn't believe he fell for her and she was interested in him. He was in a trance he didn't notice Mikey coming up to him and pulling him to the dancefloor, right behind her. When she spun, she found herself face to chest to her favorite turtle.

"Can I have this dance?" he asked. She did a small curtsy, even lifting the ends of her skirt slightly and bowed. "Can you tell me where I put my hands?"

"Your left hand holds my right hand and the other one is on my back or waist. My free hand will be over your shoulder", she quietly instructed. He did so and started dancing. He followed her and twirled her around. Her laughter was music to his ears and her smile was the best thing he saw.

* * *

><p>The night went on, between eating pizza, playing truth or dare, dancing, and watching a movie, the night was getting darker. Alice, not having school or work tomorrow, was offered to spend the night with them.<p>

"You already have your clothing for the night here anyway, might as well just stay here", Leo suggested. Alice, wedged comfortably between her legs and Raphael's arms and chest, nodded.

"Sleep in my room?" Raph asked her. She yawned and nodded, looking up at him.

"If you want me to." He smiled and nodded. She found his smile the cutest thing in the world and she loved it so much. "I'll be back", she whispered and walked to the restroom as quietly as her flats could go. She brushed her hair and her teeth, and washed her face. She then left for Raph's room and gathered her clothing and headed to the bathroom again to get in her pajamas, which consisted of shorts and an extra-large t-shirt. She then curled up again against Raph and continued to watch the movie. It was Star Wars, one of boys favorite and she was starting to like it.

"How long is this movie?" she whispered to her cushion.

"Another hour long but if you want to go to sleep, I'll go with you", he suggested.

"No, it's okay…this movie is actually interesting", she snuggled closer to him. He was so tempted to wrap his arm around her shoulder and hold her tight against his chest but didn't want his brother to see him. But most importantly, he didn't want to cross the fine line between them. But for some reason, his arm decided to wrap her shoulder and bring her in closer. Instead of moving away to his expectations, she brought herself in towards him. He was so glad she couldn't hear his heart beating wildly against his chest thanks to his plastron.

When the movie was over, she had fallen asleep and was comfortably against him. His brothers decided to leave for their room or do something else. Raph, as carefully and gently as he could, lifted the young girl and carried her to his room. He tucked her in and automatically, she curled up in a ball, holding his hand. He then pressed a kiss on her forehead and heard her sigh softly. When then let his hand go and he retired to his makeshift bed.

He didn't mind her sleeping in his bed and he sleeping on his floor. She found a way to his heart and she was going to stay there on his account. When she was there, he was a completely different person and he liked how he changed, sometimes. When she wasn't around, he returned to his normal self, lifting weights, punching dummies, stabbing non-existing foes with his Sais, grumbling something non understandable under his breath. He would sometimes goes for a session of meditation, respecting his father's wishes.

Master Splinter had taught them to do meditation as part of their training. Leo was an expert at that, Donnie liked it since it got him thinking about new ideas for inventions afterwards, and Mikey was helped to relax and be more chill than he already was. But Raph was a different story. He didn't like meditating because it made him restless and it bothered him. He couldn't focus on nothing, his mind had to be on something. And when Alice was there, it wasn't so bad because he knew she was near. He tried to focus on her, more specifically something about her. He tried her whole face but he got distracted at her beauty. He tried her hair but he couldn't help but imagine how it felt against his hand and how amazing the perfume was, whether it was strong and independent like her spirit or soft and warm liker her smile. He tried her eyes but he discovered the different shades of brown and red mixed in her irises and he lost focus. He didn't try her smile because he melted. Her freckles? Forget it, they were cute and perfectly sprinkled over her nose and cheeks.

But when it came to her, he would do anything, regardless of what it was. He would spend hours in the Ha'shi, go to meditation every day, more than once if necessary, put up with his master and his older brother's lectures and explanations on this and that. He would do it all and more for her. In the months that he met her and got to know her, he fell in love with her more as the days go by. Her smile, her laughter, the twinkle in her eyes when she was excited or happy. He wished he could be better for her. He turned off the lights and returned to the floor and watched her sleep.

* * *

><p>"Are you kidding me?" she placed her hands on her hips and rested all her weight on one leg. "200 pounds each?!" Raphael lifted the bar above his head, merely grunting but clearly smirking. It was one of those days that were extra special; she wasn't at school or work so she spent the whole day with her favorite turtles. Her family was out going shopping and attending her mom's annual fashion show she would see the next day.<p>

Raphael continued to smirk as she counted every lift he did, right over her shoulder, feeling the burning sensation cover his muscles. He was clearly showing off his strength but that wasn't his maximum weight. He figured he would start slow and "light" to not overwhelm her or scare her.

"This is nothing, Alice". It was the first time she saw him lift weights, specifically bench pressing a total of 400 lbs. Of course, she didn't know the terminology of certain routines or equipment but none the less, she was there to support him.

"For someone your age it is…but then again you've done this for a while…" her sights then locked on the floor. "Raphael, are you lifting less weights than you should be?" He continued to lift the bar a few more times and then set it on the rack. He slowly sat up and was a bit shorter than her.

"Yeah…" his neck, shoulder, and head was drenched in sweat.

"I might not know much about working out but you shouldn't be going too easy. You might hurt yourself." She handed him a towel and a water bottle.

Alice, his beautiful Alice. She was always there for him when she was there and she worried about him when he was in danger but that wasn't on a daily basis. Her dark hair gleamed with red hint, similar to his bandanna, was sometimes in a ponytail, curled, straight, or in braids, or other times in clip or in half a ponytail. Sometimes, however, it was loose and natural, cascading down in waves and crowned her shoulders and veiled her back. Her dark brown eyes also reflected with red, completing him and her dark eyebrows arched, making her even more beautiful. Her nose and cheeks were lightly blushed red and sprinkled with freckles and he found them adorable. Her lips were full and always pale pink/red, often times chapped but most of times, smooth. He loved her cheeks, so soft, warm, and squishy. He sometimes poked one or the other to annoy her but it was in cute way. He found her eyelashes perfect and when she fluttered them, he was completely mesmerized and his heart kick-started.

He damped up the towel once he rubbed it across his neck and face. She crossed her arms and waited for him. He then got on his hands and knees, getting ready to do some push-ups. Both remembered the first time he performed push-ups, only she was on his back and showing it off in a game. Now, she was sitting cross-legged, hands on her laps and in front of him. He started and she counted mentally.

"…50, 51, 52…" he lifted his head up to see her shocked. She knew he could go up to 45 and has never seen him go higher than that. Her look of shock was the boost he needed to push himself to 60, then 65, 70, 75…and he kept going. He stopped at 80 because his arms begged him to stop. He dropped to his knees and panted. When he looked up again to see her, she was sitting on his knees and held another water bottle and a new towel. He gently took it from her and wiped his face and neck.

"Let's do something else", he suggested, standing up.

"What did you have in mind?" She followed him out to the entrance, or exit, of the gym and she waited for him as he showered outside of the restroom. She hummed a song that was stuck since she woke up. It was one of those songs that you can't let go no matter what you do but you don't mind because it means something to you.

_"You are the only one, the only one that sees me, trusts me and believes me." _She started singing, knowing no one was listening. _"You are the only one, the only one knows me and in the dark you show me, yeah it's perfectly reckless. Damn, you leave me defenseless…"_ She stopped when she heard the shower head turn off.

"Hmm, after thinking about it…"

"Uh oh, that's dangerous…" she smartly remarked, stifling her laugh.

"Ha, ha, funny…"

"What are you going to do about it?" she taunted. He lifted her up and over his shoulder, careful to not hurt her with his shell.

"Ah! Raphael, put me down! You know I don't like being carried, especially this way!" He ignored her and continued to carry her. She pounded her fist over his hard shell back, expecting him to drop her. He held her this way until they reached his room. He then gently placed her over his bed and began to poke her sides.

"Raphael! No!" she laughed and shrieked as his fingers probed her sides and tummy. She attempted to break free from him by wiggling and squirming but it was pointless. "No! That's not fair…ha ha…stop!" Her biggest physical weakness was her sides and tummy being touched because it made her feel self-conscious about herself. For someone who was 5'9", she didn't look overweight and she didn't feel it. But according to her BMI, she was overweight. Plus, it made her shriek like a dying dog.

A laughing and smiling Raphael then stopped and began to tickle her, which was worse. She continued to beg for him to let her go and stop but he wasn't listening over their laughter.

"Raph stop! I'm going to pee!" she managed to let him know, crossing her arms and hands over her sides and turning on her side, holding the urge. He gently turned her on her back, one hand holding her wrists above her head and the other resting on her side, his face buried in her flat stomach. Her sudden urge disappeared and she was leaning against his pillow, not exactly lounging on her back.

"Raph…?" a breathless Alice whispered. Her hands were then released and he placed his other hand over her side. Her face soften and her hands still rested over her head, one wrist overlapping the other.

"Just…let me do this right, okay?" He huffed into her skin. He carved her sides and arms, sending goose-bumps over their bodies. She sighed softly and smiled at him. Her hands then stroked his head. He looked up at her and smiled as well. "Alice…"

"I'm here." She pulled herself up and sat up. Raph followed her lead and held her hands.

"I heard you sing…" Her cheeks blushed and her lips curled inwards and she bit them. "But I swear, you have a beautiful voice. And I'm guessing why you were singing it…" He paused and looked at her. "I know why you haven't accepted me as your boyfriend. I've seen you as a person you are, not the girl you were supposed to be. You're afraid of getting hurt again and you don't want it to happen again."

"Raph…" she started but his finger pressed against her lips.

"Just, let me finish. You hate feeling defenseless because you think people won't treat you the same and you're afraid of falling apart and no one to catch you. But I want to let you know that you can be as weak as you want to be, be defenseless, and fall apart." He then got on his knees on the floor next to her. "And I promise you, Alice, I will be here for you always. You can fall apart and you can bet I will be right here to hold you together. You can be defenseless because I will be the defense you need and I will be here for you, when you need me and want me. I won't push you away, ever. I see that you are so broken and I want to be the only one who holds you tight. Please, Alice, accept me as your boyfriend and I swear with my life I won't let you down." Her hands were engulfed by his and he held them close to him.

Alice was at a loss for words. He had read her like an open book though everyone says she was very hard to read. He told her what she wanted to hear because it was the truth. Everything he said about her was true.

"Raphael…" she whispered. "You said the one thing I wanted someone to say to me. You read me like an open book…" He looked at her intently, never looking away from her. Her eyes began to water, some tears already falling.

"Shh, Alice, it's okay. I don't want to hurt you", he whispered. He crawled into his bed and hugged her, holding her head against his chest.

"You saw me more than any other person would have…" she whispered.

"Please, be my girlfriend?" he asked her, whispering in her ear.

"Yes…" His heart leaped to his throat and he could feel it everywhere. She lifted her head up and looked at him.

"Yes?" She nodded and smiled. He hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek. She couldn't wipe the smile from her face and she hugged him back, her arms over his neck, draping around. He looked at her again and stroke his thumb over her cheek and pressed foreheads with her. Both then rested on the bed, her below him and they began to kiss.

Balancing on his forearms, he kissed her lips as he hovered over her. He kissed her with such passion and intensity, it sent them to a haze. She returned his actions with lesser force, not because she wanted to but he was so much stronger than her. Her hands were wrapped around his neck, holding herself upward slightly. His hands held her head and neck. Their kisses got more intensifying and violent, he didn't notice it until she stopped him by letting her hands drop to the side of her head and she stopped kissing him.

"Raph…" she whispered. He looked at her with droopy eyes and saw the seriousness of her face. He panted as she inhaled deeply through her nose.

"Was I hurting you?" he asked her.

"No…I just…don't want to go too fast…" she answered, closing her eyes halfway, looking down. Raph got up and rested on his back over his bed, bringing her up to his chest.

"I guess I got carried away didn't I?" She nodded but smiled.

"It's okay…but we have to set limits and boundaries between each other and ourselves…" She crossed her arms under her chin and looked at him. His massive fists balled up his pillow and rested his head, bending his head down to look at her. The darkness of her hair veiled her shoulders and part of his plastron. Her deep brown colored eyes stared at his light eyes. One of his hands covered her back and the other held her head, his calloused thumb stroking her cheekbone, part of her hair under his other two fingers. One of her hands undid themselves from under her chin and rested over his hand, her fingers gently tracing imaginary lines over his scaly, green skin. He smiled as she did.

"We'll get to that later…" he told her. Shaking her head and chuckling gently through her nose, she turned her head to kiss his palm. "Can we say "I love you"?"

"I don't know…it's up to us…" she answered. His thumb gently massaged her forehead and unruffled her eyebrows but quickly soothed it back in place.

"Well, in that case…I love you, Alice", he whispered. She smiled and deep down inside, she knew he meant it.

"I love you, Raphael…" she whispered back. Gently and carefully stretching her head up and he bending his head down, their lips met again. She then repositioned herself over his bed and both settled in for a midday's nap. His hand rested over the dip of her left hip, her body curled up fetus position, her shins over his thighs. He gently kissed her forehead once more before closing his eyes.

* * *

><p><em>It's hard to believe I opened up to Raphael, a ninja mutant turtle. I got the chance to know him and even though we were opposites, I think that's why we attracted so well. Something about us matched, like a puzzle piece. Even though some pieces have the same shape, they are not the same. And we were no different than those two puzzle pieces. I locked up myself from the world so no one would see how weak I can be and use it to their advantage, but with Raphael, it was different. He unlocked me and I let him in. I could be weak, defenseless and like he said, I could break down and he would be there to catch every piece of me. And even though we just go together, I truly love him, more than anyone before. No one will ever understand the love I have for him.<em>


	4. Truth Acceptance

_I'll never forget how happy I was when I accepted Raphael into my life in a more personal way. It's been a year since my last relationship but this one felt real, considering the circumstances. If this was real, which it is, I don't ever want to leave it behind. If this were a dream, I don't ever want to wake up. After my acceptances, we rested on his bed together and whispered to one another, until the warm sun made us sleepy._

Alice's eyes fluttered opened by Raphael's gentle snoring and slight rumble coming from his throat against her head. His head was bent down towards her and his eyes were still closed. His arms wrapped her fully while her right hand was over his chest, her left hand over his neck. She hummed a sigh gently as she felt his heartbeat and breathing, the expanding and contracting of his chest against her own.

She then pressed her lips against his jaw and neck, lingering her touch over each kiss. Raphael woke up but kept his eyes closed, feeling and enjoying his new girlfriend kiss him, feeling his heart kick start as her lips traced themselves up and down, side to side, over his rippled skin. She kissed his cheeks and the area under his nose and over his upper lip. He then felt them gently slide down and he caught them with his own. She muffled a bit but then relaxed herself on to his hold.

"Hi", she mumbled, breathing in deeply after they kissed.

"Hey", he whispered back in her ear, causing her to cringe at the gust of warm breath on her neck. "Did I hit a nerve?"

"More like a sensitive area", she answered, pressing her lips against the crook of his neck under the corner of his jaw. The also cringed and she smiled. "Did I hit a nerve?"

"Very funny", he answered deadpanned but he smiled and kissed her lips. She felt his deep scar gently scrape the skin of her upper lip, a smile forming on her face. "What's so funny?" a breathless Raphael asked. Her index finger moved to the area where a long, deep scar ran downward over the right side of his upper lip, the tip of her nail fit inside the small abyss of the wound. He looked down and removed her hand, turning away.

"Hey, look at me…" she gently tugged on his chin, facing her. He opened his eyes and sighed through his nose. "Don't be afraid of your scars. I like them." With the side of her thumb, her soft skin stroke the harden coating of his wound. "How are we going to let your family know?"

"Let them figure it out, it'll give them something to do." She pressed her mouth against his shoulder and laughed.

She was the only one who sees him as he is, regardless of his exterior. She trusted him and believed him. He doesn't know how she managed to get through him but she did, leaving him defenseless. And the crazy thing is that he didn't care. He would give up anything for her. He had proved it to her time and time again. As he watched her caressed his face and chest in his bed next to him, a million emotions filled him inside. He gently caressed her cheek and pressed a soft kiss over her head.

Those kisses were her and his favorite, where the pressures of life just melted with those green lips of his or those pink lips of her pressed each other's skin, either their forehead, nose, cheek or gently on the lips. He loved her and respected her, not wanting to cross line or boundaries with him.

She snuggled in closer to him, her head against his neck and feeling his heartbeat. That was her lullaby and it drove her crazy. He was the only one who saw her as she was and trust her with a lot of things he wasn't even sure about. He kept her together when she fell apart and it made her feel whole. It's crazy how she refused to run from him, knowing how insane this was for both of them. Hee refused to leave her alone when she was broken inside. He leaves her feeling defenseless as well and she doesn't mind it so long he was the one there.

"Why'd you pick me?" he asked her. She looked up into his mesmerizing eyes and thought about it for a moment. "And don't tell me because you figured that would shut me up or that you felt sorry for me."

She laughed through her nose and smiled, looking down. "How'd you know I would say that?" He looked at her in confusion and she smiled. "I'm just kidding, I wasn't going to say that…I picked you because you make me feel different. As if, I can be me." She sat up and ran her hand through her hair and sighed out. Her curtain of brown/red hair draped over her shoulder and cascaded down to below her chest. One large strand fell down from her other shoulder and delicately twisted on her chest.

"Be you?" he sat up as well and wrapped an arm over her stomach and pressed her against his plastron, burying his face into her hair, his mouth over her shoulder.

"To the world, I'm just another face on the street. To my family, I'm a work in progress. At work, I'm a rookie cop. But to you, I…I feel as if I can just be me and that's good enough. I can be defenseless, weak, broken, and content at the same time." She turned to face him and smiled. He raised his head and pressed foreheads against hers.

"I'm glad you feel that way…" he muttered.

"Everything about you makes me feel safe. From your strength to your voice…" she whispered and sighed. He then guided her to gently rest on the pillow again and he hovered over her. He took her hand and gently kissed the back side of it.

"I promise I will protect you and keep you safe, always." She smiled and kissed his hand.

"I'll do my best to protect you and your brothers and your father…" she answered, stroking his cheek. He leaned down and kissed her, his hands in her hair and hers stroking his bandanna. Her phone then rang out loud. Both grunted and he placed his head on her shoulder. He flopped on his side and she sat up to get her phone.

"Hello? Hi Mom. I'm not doing anything. What? Tonight? No, no, it's fine. Yeah, I'll be there. Okay, bye, love you too." She huffed out a sigh and flopped back onto the bed, one arm over her eyes holding the cell phone, the other over her stomach.

"What's wrong?" he asked her. She lifted her arm over her forehead and looked at him.

"It's my mom. She wants me to go to out with my family tonight for dinner. And it's not that I don't want to go, it's just that…I don't want to go with them…ugh…" Her arm returned to cover her eyes and her smile etched upside down. "I don't even like my family…I mean, don't get me wrong…I love them but I don't like them. The further away they are the better. And I really wanted to spend more time with you but…" He shushed her by pressing his lips against hers.

"I don't want you to go either", her hand then found its way to fall behind his head and her other hand that rested over her stomach, held his branded shoulder, her thumb and palm gently over the lighter skin that rose from the surface.

"For safety reasons, I should go…" she answered, leaning her head against his shoulder. He huffed out loud and kissed her temple. She slid down back on the bed and flopped her arms above her head. She felt his body thump against the bed on her right side and she stood up to put on her shoes and headed to the bathroom.

"I'm going to miss you", he grunted from the bed. She turned and continued to brush her hair.

"I'll miss you too", she answered and tied her hair in half a ponytail. She grabbed her jacket and fixed her shirt. He sat up and she placed her hand over his cheek and kissed him, her jacket clutched over her stomach tightly, attempting to sooth the giant butterflies bumping her stomach over and over.

"I love you babe", his mouth tingled when he said those words. She looked at him in a confused manner. "Too soon?"

"It's fine, it just…I don't know…it sounds different when you say and it's nice", she answered. "I love you baby." Her mouth also tickled when she felt those words leave her lips.

"Those words suite you well", he pulled her in close to him and placed his hands on her hips and hers over his shoulders. They kissed some more.

"Mphh…okay, Raph…" she paused between kisses. "I have to go, if not I'm going to be late and they're going to wonder where I am and I won't get away from you and your lips..."

"Let'm wonder, you're mine and I want you here with me..." he grunted. They pressed foreheads and he pecked her.

"It's for one evening...I'll be back soon", she whispered. She kissed him back and smiled. "Stay out of trouble."

"No promises", he answered and she laughed. He held her hand and watched her slip away from him and out the door. He then flopped on his bed and imagined his beautiful Alice resting on his chest, smiling and laughing at his jokes. He was in such a good mood, he left for the gym to continue his work out session. He completely lost of how many reps he did, how much he lifted himself as he did pushups, etc. He didn't even notice how many pounds of steel he lifted as he held the barbells above his head. All he could think about was her, loose hair and all, watching him work out. She had been gone for a few minutes but he missed her already.

"Hi Mom", she greeted the moment she saw her mom pull up in front of her apartment.

"Hi Alice", her mother greeted her back. Alice entered the car and gave her mom a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for picking me up."

"No problem, sweetie." Her mom turned on the music to Alice's favorite station and let the music drown the humming sound of the wind against the window, gliding over the roof and sides of the car. "I know you don't like to get into everyone's business and everyone getting in yours, but it's just for one night, I promise."

"I got it, Mom..." she answered. She didn't mind it anymore as much as she would have on any other day. She was relaxed and happy and was willing to take on anything. Of course, when you accept someone into your life as she did to Raphael and spend the whole morning and early afternoon with that special someone, you can't help but feel happy for any reason.

"Oh, your stepdad will be there too so please...please be on your best behavior."

"I will, Mom, calm down."

"Um, can I speak to Alice please?" Alice chuckled and she realized what she just said. You could literally come to her and slap her across the face and she would still have that stupid grin on her face, or so she calls it, and go about her day as if nothing happen.

"Mom, I am okay, I'm still here... I'm just, you know, in a good mood", Alice didn't know how much more sincere she could be, except tell the whole truth. She really was in a good mood and she was willing to go through anything. To be honest, she didn't like her stepdad, not because he treated her wrong compared to his biological children but he took the place that belong to her father. He sometimes tried to convince her to become an architectural engineer, since her mom showed him her two point perspective drawings she did at a community college for fun, one of them being a plaza with a gazebo. Alice refused to be one since she didn't like math and wasn't interested in that field.

From the moment she sat with her family, she knew she was in for trouble but tried her best to be on her best behavior. To her left side was her cousin Jamie and to her right was Lilly. In front of her was Veronica with her attitude that made Raph's attitude be under control. Luckily, her mom and stepdad were sitting on the far side of the table so she was able to avoid him asking her questions about her education and what not, urging her to take an internship at the company he works for.

Her other family was, for the most part, talking amongst themselves and asked a couple of questions to her. Even though they were in a fancy restaurant, she couldn't believe how loud it could get with normal conversation voices. Another thing she couldn't believe was how quickly someone can silence the room, or in this case table, with the simply clinking of a knife against a champagne glass.

"To the newly graduate and to her bright future", he raised his glass and gently gestured to his step-daughter. Everyone else in the table followed his lead. Alice had never felt that special since...well, since she got with Raph but not in front of her family. The dinner continued as usual, dessert and coffee, though she wasn't a fan of coffee.

"Aww, does Alice also need a Sippy cup for her orange juice?" Veronica asked, coating her voice in absolute unnecessary baby talk when she saw her older cousin coffee cup filled to the brim with a dark liquid that was clearly not coffee.

"For your information, its chamomile tea", Lilly answered very smartly, having demanded to sit next to Alice and heard everything she ordered.

"Be quiet, Lilly, you're no one to talk to me that way", Veronica snapped.

"Leave her out of this", Alice defended. She then turned to Lilly. "Lilly, don't get yourself involved into fights or arguments that don't concerned you, okay?" Alice had always been good to Lilly and she in returned was good to her older cousin.

"Alice, how does it feel to have a minion with you?"

"She isn't my minion, okay?" Alice snapped at her.

"I wonder how Auntie Carol will feel about this..."

"Veronica that is enough!" Alice stood up and everyone looked at her. Her cheeks flushed red and her eyes began to water slightly. "Good night everyone." Without another word, she left the table.

"Alice!" she heard her mother call her from the doorway as she waited for a taxi. "Alice, what happened?"

"Veronica...she has to go and ruin everything!" Alice was now streaming tears from her eyes.

"Just bare her for a few days and..."

"No, Mom... I thought I could control myself but I can't, not while we're in the same room together and she's there next to me! I'm going home..."

"Okay..." her mom didn't even bat an eyelash but Alice batted a million in a second. Her mom would have asked her to come back inside and be with them but instead, she let her go, just like that. "Thank you for trying, sweetheart." Her mom hugged her and kissed her cheek. A taxi then showed and drove her a block away from her apartment complex; feeling the need to walk for a bit.

"Hey baby."

"Oh, geez Raphael, you scared me..." she almost jumped from her skin and ran her hand through her hair. She was packing some boxes when he showed up later in the evening. Her balcony door was unlocked and open for two reasons; 1. In the summer, she liked to have the windows and balcony doors opened to let cool air enter her apartment and 2. In case Raphael decided to come in.

"Sorry, what's the matter babe?" he wrapped awkwardly his hands over her stomach and gently brought her closer to his chest. _Why did wrapping my hands around her feel awkward?_

"Family issues...they're temporary..." she answered, leaning back on his chest, feeling very comfortable. The awkwardness was still there but it was now almost muted by the pounding of her heart. "Are you okay, Raph?"

"Yeah..." his voice broke. "I mean, yeah I'm okay..." Alice turned to face him and looked at him concerned.

"Raph, what's wrong?" she asked.

"I just... I don't know, when I wrapped my arms around you..."

"Oh... I get it..." she answered, crossing her arms.

"What?"

"You're nervous, aren't you?" she answered.

"Me? Nervous? No way, you're crazy", he answered. _Am I really nervous? I am but I don't know of what._

"It's okay...it's the first few days of a relationship and things tend to get a little awkward. But eventually, they'll disappear and you won't even remember why you were nervous in the first place", she reassured him and hugged him.

"Is that what happens in a relationship?" his arms rested comfortably over her back and shoulders.

"Yeah, it happened a few times while I was in a relationship." She closed her eyes and sighed. Raph thought her sighs were beautiful and the mere sound of them were enough to calm him down and his softer side reveal itself. Then it clicked. "What are you doing here? Does Master Splinter know you are out?"

"I came to see you. Don't freak out, I told _Sensei _I was going to check on you", he answered, lifting her head up and with his second finger, gently flicked her nose upward with the knuckle facing out, causing her to smile. "I hope you know you have an amazingly beautiful smile."

"Well aren't you lucky?" she smartly asked, lifting an eyebrow up and the opposite corner of her lip lifted upward, hands and arms crossed over her chest.

"Very." He gently took her head into his hand and kissed her lips and missed. Alice simply smiled and placed her hand over his cheek. "I'm sorry I missed..." His cheeks matched his bandanna and he looked away.

"Now it's my turn." Her lips landed on his and he smiled. "I'm sorry I missed..."

"What are you talking about? You hit perfectly", he looked at her in confusion.

"I was aiming at your nostrils." Both smiled and rested foreheads against one another and she guided him to the couch. "Let me close the windows and balcony door..." He watched her do as she said. As she closed every window and drew in the drapes, he realized how beautiful she looked wearing a light blue and light green flannel button-down shirt, completely unbutton and a black tank top underneath, the sleeves folded up to her elbows. She always wore blue jeans but today she was wearing blue jean shorts and black socks. Her hair was completely down when he got there but she ran her hands over her scalp, picking her mess of hair into an equally messy ponytail, letting it cascade down her back. "Do you want anything? I was going to make some popcorn."

"Fine by me", he answered. From the kitchen, he could hear her ripping the plastic wrapping from the popcorn bag and placing it in the microwave, punching in the time and closing the door. "Are you gonna watch a movie?"

"Yeah, I'm almost done packing but I am tired and want to relax", she answered, sitting on the arm rest of the couch. His arm and hand coiled around her stomach and he gently brought her down to have her back against his lap, her legs draped over the armrest, her toes dangling over floor. His hand rested over her stomach and the other arm held her head like a pillow. The darkness of her hair flowed down his arm and pooled down on the couch seat. His fingers brushed her shoulder slightly, some strands in his palm. Both smiled at one another as she outstretched her arm to caress his cheek, her fingers stroking over his cheekbone and neck. Then, the microwave alarm sounded, alerting them their treat was ready.

"The popcorn's ready", he whispered.

"I know..." she whispered back. They waited a second but neither of them moved. "It's too hot to eat anyway..." He slightly chuckled and smiled widely. She then dragged herself to sit upright and gently wrapped her arms behind his neck. His hands held her waist and back, having her face him, part of his forearm over her thigh. "Do you think this is crazy?"

"What is?" Her bangs came undone from her ponytail and landed on the sides of her face, framing her face gently, just as her hands framed his giant shoulders, one of her hands over his branding tattoo.

"You and me...us together..." she continued. Her freckles were merely visible and her dark brown/red eyes gazed into his hazel eyes, bringing him into a state of hypnosis.

"Crazy is a good thing...so long's you're okay and safe, it's good enough for me..." He tucked her hair behind her ear and rested his hand over her cheek. Her hand which rested over his branding tattoo slid up to where his three fingered hand covered her cheek, his knuckles feeling the cool, smooth metal on her left ring finger.

"I'm not okay..." she answered. His heart thumped loudly, not understanding what she meant. "I'm better than okay because I am with you, safe and feeling complete. Nothing in my life can change this feeling right now." He smiled again, showing his teeth and she followed, but then bit her lips, looking down, and the beam still on her lips.

"I love you, Alice and I'm glad you are in my life." He pressed foreheads against her and their eyes closed but their smiles were wide and opened.

"I love you, Raphael...there's nowhere else I would want to be than with you", her breathe flowing over his chest. They remained this way for a while and didn't move. He pressed his lips against hers and she leaned into him more.

Before they knew it, both had created a comfy make-shift bed on the floor to watch a movie and be curled up together. She brought the popcorn in a bowl and he moved the coffee table which blocked their view from the TV and he rested over the bed, waiting for her. She placed the popcorn bowl on the side and she tucked herself into his side and watched a movie he liked very much.

"Sometime I wonder if he's real", he commented.

"Who? Hellboy?" He nodded, his eyes not moving from the screen. "Maybe... what makes you think that way?"

"My brothers, my _Sensei_, and I exist... what makes us believe he doesn't?"

"I don't know... good thinking, though", she answered, smiling. She kissed his cheek and placed her head against his chest, but not before grabbing a handful of popcorn and munched on a few. Raph chuckled and shook his head. "What's so funny?" she asked with her mouth stuffed.

"You have a serious popcorn addiction", he answered, still chuckling.

"Shut up." She laughed and grabbed another handful and tossed it at him.

"Oh, you did not just throw popcorn at me", he warned.

"What are you going to do about?" she taunted, sitting up and placing her hands of her hips. A devious smile formed on his lips and she realized what she brought herself into. "Oh no."

"Oh yeah, you're in trouble now." He popped a fluffy piece into his mouth from his chest and then began to tickle her, grabbing on to her shoulders and started to torture her by making her laugh.

"No! Raph! Not this again!" she begged but her pleas fell on deaf ears. He also laughed and watched her suffer playfully. She rolled around, attempting to break free from his hold but it was pointless, he was way stronger and tougher than her. He held her captive for a long time and she was red all over face and her stomach, sides, and cheeks were sore.

When he finally released her, she flopped on the pillow, her arms over her head, trying to breathe. Raph then balanced himself over her and looked at her deeply in her eyes, his arms feeling her soft hair underneath her head, sprawled over the mattress. She also looked deep into his eyes and couldn't help but smile.

"What do you see when you look at me?" she asked, placing her arms and hands over his biceps. Taking in a deep inhale of her perfume, he kissed her shoulder, uncovered from the unbutton shirt. Lifting his head up, he thought about her question.

"I see you as you really are..." he whispered, falling to her right side. "Someone who has a lot potential and strength to be her own person. Someone who can kick ass whenever she needs to. Someone who can be weak and strong at the same time. And deep down inside, there's courage and beauty that's deeper than the skin." She smiled and looked down, shaking her head slightly. Using his finger, he gently held her head in place as he kissed her. "I also see someone who loves me for who I am..." Now it was his turn to look down and he jerked his head to the side, away from her.

"Hey, look at me", she murmured. When he didn't listen, or didn't do as she asked, her hand tugged on his face to make him look at her in a calm, gentle manner. Lifting her upper body with her forearm under her, she stroked his face. "You're far into this relationship than my last ones. It took them 3 months for me to give them my first kiss. It took you a day..."

"It took me 3 months as well." She elevated an eyebrow, confused. "I saved you in January and I kissed you in April..." She chuckled once through her nose and tilted her head down. "But that's not the case..."

"I'm a cop, Raph... I can try to solve this", she answered.

"I doubt it", he replied. "Plus, you're working to be a cop, you're not that far yet."

"Thanks for the support", she snorted. "Raph... just because we look different doesn't mean we can't work this out."

"We don't just look it... we are different. You're a human and I'm a freak. You were planned by your parents, I was a mistake..."

"I wasn't planned", she answered. That got his attention for he sat up as she got on her feet and picked up the bowl of popcorn. Rushing to the kitchen and pouring the remaining snack into a Ziploc bag, Raph could hear her sniffling.

"Babe...?" There was no response. He got up and cleaned the area where they were having fun, collecting the popcorn fluffs from the bed and floor. Alice returned with a broom and dustpan, picking up the broken pieces and throwing them away. Raphael noticed her nose and eyes had a red hint around them, clearly showing him that she was at the verge of crying. "Alice, what's wrong?"

"I thought you knew me...but I guess you don't..." she answered, not even looking at him.

"Well, maybe you 'oughta explain yourself to me..." she could hear the mild tone of irritation in his words and that meant trouble.

"Okay, you want the truth?" she placed her hands on her hips and faced him, legs astride to give her courage. "My parents were together in high school their senior year, thought they would go to college, get their degrees, get married and raise a family. Well, something happened that I came into the picture and their dream was broken. Now, I have two dads, one biological and the other is my step-dad, one mom and two younger siblings from my step-dad and mom's side. So don't you dare say I was planned by them because I was an accident."

Raphael, being the all "tough-as-nails" kind of guy, was hardly ever scared, especially as something as small as her. But, for one reason or another, Raphael was afraid of her. Since he's known her, she's never used that tone and he found it both hot and intimidating how it was, coming from her. Even her posture was both sexy and daunting to him.

"Okay, you're right... you weren't planned but it doesn't change who I am."

"And who are you?" she asked, one hand still on her hip.

"A mutant freak, that's what I am and that's all I'll ever be", he answered angrily. His fist were clenched tight and he stared her down, but it wasn't working to scare her. She stared up at him and for the first time in their lives, she was at the level of whoever was making her smaller and he was being stared up by someone who was tall but not taller than her. He was afraid of her, not because of what she could do him or what he could do to her, but of what they could do to one another. She was braver and stronger than anyone else he met, even April and his brothers.

"Is that really all you'll ever be?" she asked, her tone not matching her posture. Instead of coming out as rough and angry, it flowed out of her red/pink lips such as a small creek would flow over a smooth stone, soft and non-violent. Her arms crossed over her chest and he learned the meaning. She crossed her arms to protect herself, keep herself safe from harm and calm her down. "Raph, look at you... look at where you are." He did so and didn't see anything in particular.

"I'm in your apartment..." it clicked. He was in her apartment. He was standing face to face in Alice's kitchen in Alice's apartment with her, alone. His face transformed from anger and frustration to understanding and shock.

"Exactly Raph, it's you that's in here because you're my boyfriend. Sure, your brothers would come but it's not as if they have done what we have. I don't curl up next to Mikey or Leo or Donnie. I don't kiss them..."

"I'd hope not..."

"The point is... you're not just a mutant, Raph. You're my mutant boyfriend and I love you all the same. You're the only one who sees me, trusts me, and believes me. You broke in and hold me together..." her arms embraced him and he engulfed her. "And I wish you could see how much you mean to me."

"Alice, look at me..." he lifted her gaze by her chin and both stared into each other's eyes. "I don't know how much I mean to you but I do know how much you mean to me." He paused for a moment and she waited. "You're someone I want to be with because of everything you are and more."

"Raph... looks don't matter to me as much as personality and behavior. And even though your anger gets the best of you most of the time, there's something about you that isn't so tough and isn't angry. It's actually happy but sometimes sad." She placed her right hand over his chest, right over his heart. "This is strong and tough but not in the sense as your character. It's a different strength."

"Master Splinter said the same thing when I wasn't sure what I felt about you", he answered. With his massive left hand, he covered hers. Their gazes then met at their hands and she sighed a sound of complete trust and satisfaction. He also breathed out a similar sound but his was deeper than hers.

"That's what I see in you", she whispered. "You're not just another face here, you're someone to me. Never forget that, please." Using his free hand, he wrapped her waist and brought her in close and kissed her lips.

"I'll try. And if I do, I have you to remind me..." their foreheads against each other, nose to nose, and lips inches apart.

"Okay..." she whispered. He kneeled on the bed and guided her towards his chest to rest once more and finish the movie and start another one.

"I love you Alice", he whispered into her hair.

"I love you, Raphael", her voice cooed at him, kissing his lips once more before the movie started.

_It's hard to understand another person who comes from the same background as you so it's even harder to understand someone who grew up differently than you. Raph and I lived in three worlds, his world, my world, and our world. My world doesn't accept him because of his looks. His world is dangerous for me to exist all the time. But our world, one that only we share together is safe and accepting. Raph grew up fearing the outside crowd on how he looks while I grew up fearing the crowd not accepting my potential. But in those moments, where it's us alone, none of that matters. It was our moment to see who we really were to one another and accept our differences and similarities._


End file.
